Just for fun: Write a game review for the poster above you


#182

Suzaku here from Suzaku publishing and we’re here to ask one simple question “What The Frack” is All Games Must Die?

From shop icon you could easily guess it’s game about Nbradford, but to what degree you might ask? It’s about him critiquing games and the processing in which he does so. Let’s take a look at the option menus, well I would but there doesn’t seem to be any. I know what you’re saying “But Suzaku, grPad games normally don’t have menus”, well I call ballucks, as vast majority of games on grPad do have menus, simplistic but they still have options, like changing the difficulty or even background of games. If more grPad games had better menus then the platform could even grow to compete with the likes of Playstem 5, or the current mBox.

The main objective of All Games Must Die is quiet simple, to destroy games. And how do you destroy games? Well it’s quiet simple really, you must critique games in such a fashion the games themselves crash on release no matter how well made the games themselves are. This is accomplished using the touch face interface selecting various options; you can even set the tone of your voice to thus changing the meaning of your actual words in game. Here is an example of a game After Mad where the average review for the game was 9.75 in real life but Nbradford gave it a 7.5 real life thus robbing its perfect 10.0. As you can see I start by selecting some minior flaws to point out… Oh bloody hell this game froze again and now I have to start over; wait what’s this previous saves was also cleared. See this is one of the problems with this game, there quite a few problems with this game.

Another problem with the game for 20 dollars or your regional equivalent there are very few options. From the lack of menu or in depth options on how to trash reviews it doesn’t add much substance to the game. However! I still had a lot of fun trashing games and poking fun of games and how they perform. Would I pay full price for this game? Maybe but depends if I’m in the mood or if I have to take a long plane ride. But I do recommend getting this game if it ever goes on sale, and lord knows that Grapple doesn’t like to place anything on their gr store on sale.

This is Suzaku the giving All games must Die a 7, and with that I’m off to play a classically bad game called Rompers.


#183

All trend and no play makes Rompers a dull game

This is it, I am reviewing a notoriously horrible game known as Rompers for the Master V.
The goal of the game is to run and gun through each stage to reach a central computer terminal that mus be destroyed, is there a reason for this? Apparently not, the game doesn’t have any plot to speak of nor any explanation for anything. The gameplay is one huge glitch at best, you can only take one hit even though there is a life bar, you have to aim dead-center at enemies otherwise it goes straight through them, you can end up clipping through stuff at times especially when jumping only to get stuck in the ceiling.

It’s a TOTAL MESS! There’s just no way to beat the first freaking stage no matter how many times I try and also I find it hard to believe the game’s budget is over $4 million, how can they blow so much on a complete dysfuncional disaster of a video game.

Shameful, you’d have to be a total nerd to attempt to complete the first stage 1.25/10

And now for next gen:

The name came from one of the posters in the R&D Lab


#184

Suzaku here from Suzaku publishing and we’re here to ask one simple question “What The Frack” is Cole Protocol.

Before I start, I got to say I really, really hate companies release a product with the same name as the original as a fresh reboot of a franchise. Regardless, is Cole Protocol a good game? Does it live up to its original name sake? Yes and No… Let me explain. Cole Protocol decides to bring the game play to current generation standards and to be quiet honest, I really wish it hadn’t as experience doesn’t seem to translate well.

Back in the original Cole games you could hold two weapons, yes two weapons with a choice of grenades. To make things better you could swap out weapons by pick up weapons in the field rather than spending cash on different weapons like current games do now. And because the limited weapon selection it really hurts the level design of the original game. Oh hey look this section would really be awesome to have a sniper rifle, but more likely it’s required. So now basically have to pay the 2.00 dollars and 50 cents for the ammo, just to proceed with the game.

Thank fully its one saving grace is its multiplayer, the developers of Cole Protocol thankfully kept all the maps of the original in rather than having just the single map, 20 dollar map packs for two more maps. This really sets it apart from Actisight where they continue to milk their customers with day one map packs. The game features the standard level progression of having to pay two dollars to level up and chance for some new weapons or skins for your character in the game.

So would I recommend it? It’s a real difficult question as the core gameplay is still there and the graphics are updated but it’s also marred by current gen game decisions that don’t mess with the classic game play of the original. My suggestion is just go look for the pc version of the original game look how to get it to work on Doors 9 or 10 depending on what version you use as the experience will be much closer to the original without modern game design clashing with the classic approach. This is Suzaku signing off.

This is Gaia by Girl Gamer Games


#186

the post above doesn’t have a picture, just a description

Sorry diamond655, but you’re required to post a game history screenshot (or a link to said screenshot if you can’t upload pictures)


#190

Video Game Ruler, A ruler of the Game Dev World

A true hit, one of the best simulation games out there. The graphics and gameplay are out of this world. The graphics seem as if im in the world. Truly amazing, Now i haven’t even said pointed out this isn’t another crappy fantasy game competing for the best but somthing that not many people love, A Game Dev Simulation. Now all the options truly make the games make just the way you want them. 9.5/10 "Best simulation 2013.

COD: Fishing everyone! (COD (Like the fish get it?)


#192

Thread Clean up. :smile: and in the kerfuffle no one reviewed Gaia! So you might like to post that again @Suzaku


#193

COD: Fishing

I have never expected to have fun launching missiles into the Pacific Ocean. But there is a game that does just that. COD: Fishing. The AI of the fish is amazing. Over the years, the fish become more powerful as they evolve and develop weapons. The last level is the hardest level i have ever played in a game. Overall, this game is the best game i have ever played.


#194

Trumpet Hero

This game is a must buy. I remember being in the 6th band and all my friends played the trumpet. The controls are very simple and the sound brings back nostalgia of playing the trumpet in the school band. This game brings together two things I love the most: Playing the trumpet and Video Games.

+Trumpets
+Lots of replay value
+Amazing Graphics and Sound

  • Some glitches and bugs here and there
    9.75
    AMAZING


#195

Crab Boxelhiemer here with another review! This week we’ll be looking at Call of Booty: Twerk Ops!

Lore

The year is 2013 and a music awards show called the VMA is on the air, but a few hours in, something happens that changes life as we know it forever…

… suddenly, the pop sensation Molly Citrus jumps up on stage with Robot Thilkie and starts twerking! Everyone watching immediately spews all over the floor and dies shortly after! The news is quick to spread the word about this causing mass hysteria all over the planet! But in the midst of all of this panic, Molly Citrus takes over the U.S! Now it’s up to the rest of the world to fight the new terror that is Molly Citrus’ twerking!

Story

Now, this story may look really, REALLY dumb but it’s actually very well written, the jokes are very funny and when it’s actually trying to be serious the game does a great job of making you feel for the characters while still putting in the occasional joke or two to keep things funny. Overall it’s a great story with funny but lovable characters and plot twists that always knock me off my feet in how absurdly hilarious they are.

Music

The music is… well… very funny and serious at the same time! The songs range from hilarious tracks that make ridiculous situations even more wacky and hilarious to serious battle march tunes that get you in the mood to shoot dudes, it really is hilarious and you should hear it to have your ears graced by it’s wacky-ness.

Graphics

I don’t know how to start this section off so I’m just gonna tell you now. The. Grpahics. In. This. Game. Are. EPIC. Where do I start!? The texture quality, the polish, the general meticulousness of the detail, all of it is sublime! You really won’t know unless you’ve played it, but the graphics are really something to behold and I really couldn’t give the graphics justice unless I had the camera which is broken right now so… yeah, the graphics are awesome and you should see them for your self.

Gameplay

Now if your a fan of games like Qwauque or DHoom, be ready to throw those games out the window for this little gem, simply put, the game play in this game is GTOTY worthy by FAR! This game has perfectly mixed in fantastic gun play with a HUUUUUUGE gun count (200 guns, WOW!) with great tactical planning and strategy. I really don’t know how they could of pulled it off without making the game tedious and boring but they did it! As well as shooting Molly’s minions you have to conserve ammunition and plan attacks with your squad. The A.I is really life-like, throwing grenades often, taking cover, cowering, flanking, all of that good stuff which just makes the game so much more fun knowing that they aren’t automatons and just shoot shoot shoot 'till the cows come home like in other games. The game is about 20 hours long and for this sort of game, that just makes everything better ten fold. Overall, the game play is fantastic and worthy of a hundred GTOTY awards.

Conclusion

This game was a MEGA-BLAST to play, it had a well written story with plot twists and funny jokes, hilarious music with a mix of wacky to serious tracks, FANTASTIC graphics that really are a treat to look at and game play that puts games like DHoom to absolute shame. If your an individual that likes funny stuff, or someone who likes shooting stuff, or really anyone, you should by this game NOW NOW NOW before it’s gone forever, but I really doubt that it’ll be off the store shelves for a LONG time!

Pros:

  • Pretty much everything
  • Fantastic graphics
  • Well written story
  • Excellent music
  • Amazing game play
  • Brilliant A.I
  • Huge selection of guns
  • 20 hours long

Cons:

  • I’ve got nothing for the cons section

Score: 10/10

CGM Writers Choice!


#196

#Still can’t do a hashtag.
Dis… COURSE!!!


Stage 3-0 : Introduction
I was just reading around the gamerz magazine and then i stumbled upon this game.
Ulntimax III: Stilldunno. It’s a fantasy rpg game made by Company Name and published by CGM Interactive. This game is… well…

Stage 3-1 : Competence
And so the review begins.
This game is a Rage of Empires-esque type thing where you move around your character using a mouse. You get to fight CPUs and other players if you are interested in spending 1983 Cr. on a stable local area network connection. You get to level up your character and customize him/her. I’ll get back to that in a minute. Also, the fighting sequences is quite… bleh. Yup. I just said that in a PG-12 review magazine. No seriously the fighting system in this game is very bland. It’s not like it’s similar to Finale Fantasy or any other rpgs in that matter. You get to choose your move, then after you just clicked that M button you just go. Also the quote-on-quote “skills” is very balanced. You can’t customize it so your character has more attack or anything.
That gives this game the score of 6 in Competence.

Stage 3-2 : Autonomy
While the competence in this game is… bleh… The atmosphere is very good. The game makes you feel you have control over everything. Every now and then you get choices that you have to pick and it makes a different ending. The changes aren’t nothing much but let it be. This game was released in Y3! Gimmicks like this were pretty much nonexistent back then. This game truly does make a revolution in choose-your-own-adventure type games like Heavy Rainfall or Celcius.
This game gets a score of 9 in Autonomy

Stage 3-3 : Relatedness
I don’t know what Company Name put in this game but i love it! The mood sets in very well for a Decade 1 game. It truly feels as if you are the character you are playing right now. Also i mentioned character customization earlier and now let’s get deep. You can fight for items and armour. You can obtain those in dungeons or the betting house. You can wear all kinds of armour. There’s Zeldron’s, Nightingale Hoods, Quarian, Turian, Magic Armour, Red Suit, all kinds of things! It has very well relatedness to both the player and the character. Not the best, per se, but its quite good.
It gets an 8 score in Relatedness

Stage 3-4 : Summary
This game gets an average of 8. Go buy this game for your G64’s. It’s only 2.99 in eBeach.
And as always, thanks for reading.


Wayfarers, the company name is Wayfarers!

Sorry @Chris_Ibarra, but i made your game and GDT and… it didn’t go very well.


#197

((sorry for bumping, but i really like this thread and really want to revive it!))


#198

Me too. It seems really cool, and if it dies im totally starting my own.


#199

then do it :stuck_out_tongue:


#200

Too bad the people who frequently post here like @Akamadoushi is GDTRP-ing.


#201

Don’t do it. It’s just copying a thing there is already. If bumping this does not help making a new one will certainly not help.


#202

I’m still interested in this, I’m just too lazy to steal mom’s laptop and fire up GDT. Hers is the only computer in the house that can run it and I’m just meh about borrowing it again.


#203

Venture Tales

Venture Tales is a Business strategy and simulation game for The Box™ and PC

The gameplay is very much what you expect from any business sim mixed in with some strategic elements to attempt a more realistic take on business management, I say attempt because it appears to be half done and this is just the beggining of the game’s mediocrity.

Some of the game’s details are quite inconsistant e.g. a few scenarios have their objectives incorrect in their descriptions such as one stating to reach a net profit of 50 mil in 3 years whereas in-game the objective says 100 mil in 3 years instead. The game sometimes gets your competitors names mixed up which can cause some confusion. Lastly, the saving and loading times are awfully long and numerous, it’s irritating.

Overall this game seriously feels unfinished, Wayfarers really should have put more time and effort into this, it could have been a great business game but they failed to do so.

Dissapointing 4.75/10

And now for video game satire

Fact: The name of this game comes from one of Japan’s nicknames for the Xbox One “Batsuichi” which means "once divorced"


#204

Once Divorced

Once Divorced is a Game Development and Casual game for the mBox One.

You play as a newly employed game developer who was just divorced by his wife, over his job selection.

To be able to play as a recent divorcee is a unique take, there are some awkward moment where your ex-wife would call you weekly and harass you for your job. To me, that’s just as annoying as Na’bi from Legend of Velda: Flute of Time,

There are also some bugs in the game itself that somehow got overlooked by the developers, it’s not game breaking but it can cause some serious graphic disarray that could distort your vision. Also, the gameplay and controls itself is abit too complicated for the Casual market as it was marketed for.

Despite the flaws, I’ll say it’s a pretty good game. It’s not perfect but good.

6.25/10

Note: I couldn’t post pic so here’s the link, http://i.imgur.com/O00Z6oI.png


#205

Grand Thief Auto

What can I say about this game. I feel like I’ve heard of a game like this before. Electronic Arts newest game Grand Thief Auto includes going around and killing people and of course stealing cars from innocent civilians. I just feel like I’ve already played this game somewhere else and that’s where it looses me. I don’t have anything else to say other than 6/10. Would recommend if you want to waste about 30 minutes.


#206

I’ll give these melons a squeeze

Melons is a pretty unusual PC game as it is a collection of physics-based challenges (250 in total) that involve squashing melons by either throwing rocks at them, making something fall on them or make them roll off a block. It very much tests your logic-thinking skills and is surprisingly addictive. Also, the physics in this game work fairly well and I wonder why other games won’t use physics like these.

Recommended for puzzle addicts 8/10

And now, a grPad game made in response to the Candy Jam
http://itch.io/jam/candyjam