Just for fun: Write a game review for the poster above you


#87

Wow. Just Wow.

Booty Call places you in the role of Captain Skarlett, leader of the infamous (and all female) Red Bloomers Pirates. The stated objective is to ransack towns, stealing valuables and men. You read that correctly. You know, ordinary pirate-y things.

The entire game is dripping with innuendo and dirty jokes. Some of it is pretty funny, but a lot of it is pretty crude even for my tastes. The scandal surrounding the game’s content would be more reasonable if not for the scantly clad pirate women on the cover. There’s no way you didn’t know what this was, and if you bought it for your children you have problems.

There are multiple endings, based on the number of points you’ve accumulated. Five endings in total, one each for 0-49 points, 50-74 points, 75-99 points, 100-124 points, and 125 points (the maximum possible score). If you get the maximum score, you’re “treated” to…well, I’m not quite sure. The graphics don’t make it abundantly clear.

Graphics-wise, this game is on par with other recent G64 titles. No better, no worse. It’s not much of a gameplay innovator either, running like most any adventure game. Major story scenes are depicted slideshow style, with still-art pixel images. Oddly, the ending scenes don’t receive this treatment, and are instead rendered with ordinary gameplay graphics. The midi tracks are fitting of the pirate-y theme, and the sound effects are actually pretty good.

All in all, Booty Call can be a pretty fun experience if you know what you’re getting into. Also, I don’t think I need to say this, but this game is absolutely not for children. Like, seriously, I’m pretty sure letting your kids play this is illegal. Just don’t do it.

Pros:
Funny, good use of sound effects, enjoyable music, surprisingly good writing

Cons:
The sex jokes get a little tired, need a shower after playing

Meh
Graphics and gameplay aren’t anything new

???
Is that a pixel-orgy? Is that what I’m watching? Did the devs really animate a pixel-orgy? And then make it an actual story-ending? I must be imagining things.

6.25 out of 10. Reviewers who like sexy pirates and pixel sex may disagree.

Next up, a title from fledgling developer Dark Arts Studio.


#88

#Ah. Starfall. Classic.

You remember this game? I do. I heard they are gonna be making a remake for this on the Playsystem, but i don’t know. This game is classic, and i really love it, though some minor (and major!) bugs.

Stage 1-1 : Story

You are the captain, Marshall Bay, of the fleet army of the United States of Sprangled Stars. We are hoping peace, as your enemy country, Uni Supernoviet, has nuked your country! Will you save your beloved country planet and defeat Mother Sunnisia?

Stage 1-2 : Presentation

This game is 2D and have a very good colour palette. Yes, it has a different colour palette than other games. The pixelated graphics is odd to me, but it is also nice. The music is also a classic 8-bit game sounds. Yeah…

Stage 1-3 : Gameplay

It’s a classic shoot 'em up. But not just any shoot 'em up. It’s a shoot em up that will kill you if you touch the walls. But not just any shoot 'em up. It’s a shoot em up that will kill you if you touch the walls and you will get a game over if you die 3 times. But not just any shoot 'em up-

Just like Booty Calls, the game my friend akamadoushi reviewed last week, this game has multiple endings. It’s all basically based on what choices you make. Yes! you have multiple choices. Whenever you get to save or kill your teammate/enemy, you will get the choice to beat them up, leave them, or kill them to put them out of their misery.

Stage 1-4 : Overall
It’s classic, though some bugs and MAJOR issues here and there, i really like this game.

Pros :

Multiple choices, Music, and Good programming

Cons :

Bugs,Lot’s of Them… And it’s a shoot em up that will kill you if you touch the walls and you will get a game over if you die 3 times-

Meh… :

Graphics… Eh…

6.5 out of 10.
Good, but not any great…


TFoS means The Final of Us


#89

A Descent Into Interactive Insanity

Welcome to Doublecast, with your ever versatile host, Akamadoushi! This week, I’ll be reviewing The Final of Us 3: Hench n Elly

The third game in the popular The Final of Us series, strangely abbreviated TFoS by the developers, takes a bizarre departure from previous games in the series. You start off in the familiar, realistic, living world previously depicted, but it doesn’t last long. Things quickly dissolve into a bizarre dreamscape with no real explanation.

TFoS 3 has you battle hordes of sanity-devouring monsters whilst the world around you falls apart. Literally. Within the first hour of gameplay, you end up in an indescribable kaleidoscope nightmare. And it’s all downhill from there.

TFoS 3 offers an impressive 50 hours of story. Quite a bit for today’s games, especially considering it isn’t nearly as padded out as many other titles. There aren’t any side-quests, and the puzzles actually flow with the game instead of distracting you from it.

This game is a technical masterpiece. The devs gathered up all the top-of-the-line graphical and audio technology could find and put it up in a blender. The vision of twisted insanity is rendered so realistically, you’ll swear your television is a swirling portal into madness. The effect is intensified if you’re using a compatible VR headset.

The story is beautifully written. Even with the world devolving into technicolor madness, the plot still manages to make sense. Every weird thing is justified and feel perfectly reasonable in context. The ending was a bit of a disappointment, but this is still a fantastic title.

Pros:

  • Fun gameplay
  • Amazing graphics and sound
  • Excellent writing and voice acting
  • Interesting surrealist horror twist
  • Original soundtrack performed by MGMT and M83

Cons:

  • Punch-out ending
  • Graphical insanity may cause headaches

Final Verdict:

9.75 out of 10.


#90

Hello the game wanderer here and today we are reviewing a wonderful game known as Cutebots 3.33

Cutebots 3.33 places you in the role of the leader of the evil gang of robots known as the Cutebots. A wonderful twist on RPG games! The plain objective of the game is to make the world of humans devoted to the Cutebot gang. Lots of fun life or death situations fighting evil ugly robots this game will give you a chance to think about robots taking over the human race!

The entire game is a wonderful story with a great sound track. Also this game has 12 multiple endings each so much different from the next. In the first 30 minutes of playing you might end up getting the best or the worst ending!

Cutebots also manages to use the Reaver’s motion controller for some spectacular control of vehicles.

The game also has many side quests that make up the games story because some of the side quests may destroy the world or build up the cute bots gang . The 100+ hours of gameplay are wonderful because you never know when your character has beat the game because once all the quests and side quests are beat the open world is beautiful.

I also am amazed by the wonders of the many interesting NPCs that the player can meet and interact with. Sometimes I catch myself talking to these NPCs! this game also manages to elevate the RPG genre because the genre is full of fantasy but this game reached new heights of awesome being a game set in the future!

closing thoughts

This game is a wonder filled game filled with beauty in every level and every story or quest being told. Stop reading this go play it!

9.75 out of 10


#91

Stop laughing at the box and buy this.

And now for another edition of Doublecast, Ivalice’s favorite video game review radio show! With your ever-versatile host, Akamadoushi! This week, I’ll be reviewing Wereolfs VS Vampires.

This game has been mocked by many a reviewer since its release last month, but no one seems to have gotten past the box. They just laugh at the name, and then refuse to play it. That’s their loss, because they missed out on quite a fun title.

Despite the typographical error on the game box, the title screen correctly displays “Werewolfs VS Vampires.” I initially thought this was a typo as well, but my intern tells me that “wolfs” is an acceptable plural of “wolf” and she has no motivation to lie to me. Yet.

Moving on. The game takes place in 18th century London. There are two modes; adventure mode, which allows you to play through the single player story, or battle mode, which is a one-on-one fighting game setup against AI or another player. When playing in battle mode, you have the option of connecting to another opponent through the internet. More and more PC games are experimenting with internet connectivity and multiplayer these days, but not many get it right. Wereolfs VS Vampires is one of the few that does. Unfortunately, you need a 56kbps connection or faster to play online. Not everyone has access to that sort of high speed dial-up.

Adventure mode is well written and tons of fun, but disappointingly short and brutally difficult. You’re often left not knowing where to go next. The game, despite being incredibly linear, doesn’t tell you where to go. Many of the puzzle solutions are also highly unintuitive. You have to be a special kind of crazy to think of this sort of thing. Finishing adventure mode rewards you with extra battle mode characters, though.

Graphical quality is good in the early stages, but the textures start to get simple and blocky in the later levels. You can tell the developer was running out of money towards the end. The sound effects could be better. Too much distortion in the sound bytes. I also don’t recall hearing any music at all in the entire game. Neither adventure mode nor battle mode.

Pros:

  • Fun gameplay
  • Historically accurate setting
  • Two completely different gameplay modes
  • Multiplayer compatibility over 56kbps
  • Werewolves!

Cons:

  • Title misspelled on box
  • No music
  • Sound effects are distorted
  • Adventure mode is confusing and frustrating
  • Vampires

Final Verdict:

8.75 out of 10.


#92

Goblins Hate fire. I Like Fire. Children Hate Fire.

When I Played this game it was at first a masterpiece. The stunning visuals were the centrepiece of the game.

However, The flaws can be overlooked…

The touch-screen controls are fiddly and hard control with, and I can’t be bothered to play it for more than five minutes.

The Largest problem is though, parents won’t buy a game for children with goblins in the name.

The music aspect of the game is very upbeat. It is funky yet fascinating.

Good

The fun music
The Detailed character models

Bad

The Fiddly controls
The disturbing name.

To improve
*Change the name
*Release it on a better device. Like A ninvento GS or something


#93

#Omnomnomnomnomnomnom

Argh, this game is just so delicious!

Stage 1-1 : Story

Waiwaiwaiwaiwaiwai wait just a second! A game called “Eat Chips” has a story? Why yes young man! You are a female named Mhell, sent into Diaperture Science, to test their new device, the temPortal Gun! But as time goes on, the machine that runs the entire laboratories, named SLaFOS (Sarcastic Life-form and Floppydisk Operating System), has become corrupted. It is up to you to escape this nasty place, and defeat SLaFOS! And that name just sounded like a breakfast sandwich.

Stage 1-2 : Presentation

Graphics? Eh… Yeah, it’s okay for an 8 bit console (yes, handhelds are also consoles. the more you know…), but nothing too exciting. But what i do notice is, this is an overhead view game, just like The Legend of Xelda. The music, while not too great, is still very appealing to me. It’s like that tune from the original Super Lario Bros. and The Legend of Xelda that gets stuck in your head. It’s like, Lotaka’s song, you know.

Stage 1-3 : Gameplay

Now the gameplay is where it’s at. When you’re Mhell, you have the temPortal gun, which can be used to travel through time and even space itself. You can choose which ability to use whilst hitting the B button, and you can fire a temPortal with the A button. Though they claim this to have “RPG” in it, it really is misleading. Though there is some RPG elements, it is a puzzle game. It really is hard to think about it. But it just… yeah…

Stage 1-4 : Overalls

Pros : Gameplay is addictive, music is catchy, and the story is good!

Cons : It draaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaags. Even the first puzzle you solve, at the fastest record, in 10 minutes 1 second, and the load time sucks too! And misleading genre.

Meh : Graphics, again, meh.

??? : Is that a bag of chips? OH MAN I LOVE CHIPS! runs to chips GIMMEGIMMEGIMME! Wait… “The Chips is a Lie”? … Oh for THE LOVE OF GOD-

Overall, 9.25, it’s an awesome game, the time to solve the puzzle and loadtime long as heck! And i really wanted that bag of chips, man…


#Grand Theft Manual : Lost and Crammed

After many years of successful games, with GTM 1, 2, 2:London, 3, Rice City, San Dandreas, Rice City and Puberty City Stories, and 4. Can Greenheartgames (original, i know.) release a better sequel to the famous GTM 4? Let’s find out.


#94

Grand Theft Manual: Lost and Crammed - A 2033 year Fantasy game with RPG and Action elements.

Lost and Crammed is the newest game made by insert company name here which is the sequel to GTM 4, which was released earlier (logic).

Story in GTM: LaC is about a biker named Jonas Kelitz which is the president in a motorcycle club named Lost and Crammed. However, after the “true” gang leader - Bull comes out of the rehab, he takes control and Jonas is back on the vice-president place. There will be a lot of conflicts in this game, and the story is great!

Gameplay in GTM: LaC is also good, you have a lot of activities, bars, strip clubs and you can even participtate in gang wars and such! Sounds sound pretty good, and graphics are also great! insert company name here did a really good work making the newest GTM!

My rating for this game is… 9/10, because of several bugs and sometimes the game was hard as hell on the console.

Overall: Game is great, its sad that it wasnt also released on PC but it really deserves the exclusive title on the Hexahedron console!

so, my game would be http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/9007/hsha.png


#95

It’s Time to say Valve can’t count to 4

Half Life 3 continues the story of, you guessed it, Gordan Freeman. HL3 runs the brand new Source 2 engine with stunning graphics and amazing new features. The gameplay and story is very rich in content. The new game in the series brings over 20 hours of gameplay. But what’s even more amazing is all of the plot twist and shocking moments. But the question is did it live up to expectations? The controls are fiddly, the game is too hard at some points, and the game is very buggy.

Pros

The plot and gameplay is amazing and one could spend weeks going back though the game to find the little details that Valve added

Cons

The game is just too plain difficult and buggy

Conclusion

The question at the end is “Is it worth the weight?” It has set a new standard for games but it also shows people to not do some of the things that has been done in the game. Overall I give it a 7/10


#96

Because the other guy did not post a picture I will


#97

No image? Alright…


#98

Hello the game wanderer here and today we are reviewing a great game known as last fantasy

First of I would like to say don’t play this when you are going to sleep. The story is so interesting you will be thinking about what castle you will raid next or what that mystery quest is going to get you. Yes, the 20+ hours of gameplay with all this content can only have 20+ hours of gameplay because of low memory but still manages to pack quite a punch with content

Next I would like to talk about the story. It is confusing at first because you can’t really make out what the NPCs are saying because the are so soft but gladly become louder over time. Also there are 6 multiple endings each based on what guild you join and what kingdoms you siege. With all the side quests there are so many enemies to kill because of the numerous amount and side quests with going into awesome dungeons!

Next, the game play is really fun for starters because the combat system is not like regular RPG games. You can actually move your character around and the A.I controlled party members move around and fight like you want them to because you can customize there battle strategy. The graphics are WOW.the graphics look very detailed and hard worked on but the sometimes bug out and look like random numbers.

Also this game has tons of hidden content. Like just this morning I found two of them. And the character customization is meh.

Closing thoughts
This game is a very fun fantasy RPG for the gameling so stop reading start playing

Verdict
9.75 out of 10


#99

Welcome to the Las Vegas of the far distant future

Gambler, which has been released sometime in the first week of February 1988 is a wildly different and unique take on gambling.

Set in the year 2085 where mankind has colonised on other planets in the solar system after an overpopulation crisis happened on Earth. This game follows the story of a ramblin’ gambling man known as Arnold S. Shepherd whose family was kidnapped by a group of notorious space pirates and the only way he can get them back is to pay a ransom of $5,000,000. The only way he can acquire that is through gambling (hence the game’s title “Gambler”)

Sure, the plot may not sound good but the gameplay is something much more interesting.

For starters, it is an open world game where you explore the various colonies on the many different planets and of all those colonies have casinos for you to gamble in. There is a pretty good variation of casino games ranging to the basics to the advanced, some of which are exclusive to certain colonies.

During my session, I found myself playing blackjack on Mars, participating in strip poker on Uranus and betting on cyborg boxing on the Moon. Besides all the gambling, the game has moments that declare it to be an Action game.

These include flying your starship to other colonies while avoiding asteroids and when exploring the colonies on foot you could be attacked and possibly mugged by the space pirates. Fighting the space pirates is kind of awkward as the attacks are sort of sluggish and require perfect timing but it’s better than the starship stages where all you could do is avoid the asteroids and not shoot them down. Lastly there are some gambling games where you take control of the contender you placed your bet on such as cyborg boxing which I mentioned earlier.

Overall, this game is unique compared to other games I’ve seen though it can be difficult at times but if you’re a person who feels that they are lucky at gambling then I reccomend this to you.

A soon-to-be classic 8/10


#101


#102

Wrath of the Fallen - a game released by insert company name here in 2010 year just 2 weeks before receiveing the life-time award .

Wrath of the Fallen is a Post Apocalyptic game with RPG elements.

Story:

The story seems really good, you start as a guy named John in 3015 year. Suddenly he begins to be “haunted” by the so called Fallen. He needs to find out what is going on and why.

Gameplay:

Gameplay is one of the best things in the game. I suggest you play this at morning or so because you will be so busy visiting various locations and helping random people (sometimes).

Design (overall)

The graphics aren’t so good (3d v5 probably ^^) but the world design just… well. its amazing! Sometimes you see beautiful world, sometimes places half-destroyed. Just amazing. And sounds arent so bad but they aint the best.

Overall…

6/10

  • All Games

my game would be…


#103

Age of Empires 4 - the much-awaited sequel to the hit medieval strategy franchise

For starters, this installment runs on a brand new game engine specially made to work with the Steambox console. The gameplay is more in-depth than ever though it takes some time to figure out, Also there are so many more campaigns; probably about 20 hours worth ranging to the fall of the Roman Empire to the Age of Discovery.

Unfortunately, this game contains several bugs that could affect gameplay, Hopefully “company name here” would develop a much-needed patch for it sometime.

Overall it’s brilliant but buggy 7.75/10


#104

Hello the game wanderer here today and we are reviewing a old game that was released in the mid eighties. The game is called Undead Trail

This game starts out in the fictional town little York. The player can choose their character’s gender and what profession they have. Here are 3 of them. Police, Solider, and Gun Shop Owner and there are much, much, much more professions to choose from. You also get to decide perks your character has. The customization options are a 10 out of 10.

The graphics of the game are ok. They don’t bring a wow factor to the game there are only 2 types of looks for zombies which makes the zombies look like the same old construction worker and baker. The gun graphics are ok so I would give the graphics a 9 out of 10.

Now lets talk about story. You and a group of friends decide to go to a park to have a picnic go hunt for some turkey for thanksgiving. Many people are in town thanksgiving so chaos go’s down. When at the park the group of people witness stuff happen and then it is open world from there on

The fighting is amazing in this game. Fighting randomly happens when your group of people run into a building. The fighting has lots of depth because people can break limbs and can only crawl and some zombies use melee weapons. Also many weapons have certain restrictions to people who can use them, And during battle I like how you can level up your character.

Final Thoughts

I think this game is a fun game to play on a boring afternoon because it is a rouge like game and you will die in 20 minutes if you have no experience playing. Over all I give this game a solid 9.75. So stop playing your new school games and go play a classic.


#105

Hello Guys!

I can’t upload my picture on this broad.

The game is called Fallout. It has a post-apocalyptic and retro futuristic setting, in aftermath a global nuclear war in mid 20 century. Happened in New York City, players can create their own character and exploring through-out the city. The enemies are varied, they killed everyone in the city. Players are able to purchase weapons and buy safe houses to protect themselves.

Fallout is a great game and I think the players should play this game. It will become very addicted to the players and they would say “Fallout is a AMAZING game!”. They would tell their friends and families to play this game.

Fallout - Post Apocalyptic/RPG

G64

10 - Perfect


#106

Well, since the guy above didn’t post a picture, I’ll keep this rolling.


#107

This game was made by the lord - Of Games

Yes. I can’t praise this game enough. What i thought would be just a lame game where you walk around burning stuff. It is actually a Pleasant RPG Where you have to play hard to become the lord. I’m sad to say i am not past level 6 - Blacksmith, Yet.

Graphics - OK. But maybe some 3D would seal the deal. - 8
Game-play - The best I ever saw. It really is my new favourite for game-play. - 10
Fun. Well it is fun. VERY FUN!!!. I’d give it a 10 any day. - 10
Storyline. Interesting. And i love the fabulous level system. 9

Overall I’d give it a 9.25. Maybe more if was released on a different console