Just for fun: Write a game review for the poster above you


#67

The End of the world (Is Awesome!)

I’ll have to admit, I have been playing Apophis Apocalypse for a pretty long while. Locating all the secrets, doing all the boss battles, and such and such. Why? Let me explain…

Story

The story in this game is amazing. A man named White Johnson witnesses a huge asteroid destroy his entire world. However, he manages to somehow survive, but he is very slowly dying from radiation. You have to find these anti-radiation pills before you die.

Along the way, you meet several different characters with their own charm and personality, and some even assist you in finding these pills. However, not everyone is your friend, as some have mutated and try to kill you.

The story is, overall, dark as you will see different people being killed, and some enemies are darn-right frightening. It adds to the overall tone of the game, and it is executed very well. Once the asteroid hits, it’s a little slow getting into the game, but it all pays off has you continue on.

Presentation

The presentation in this game is actually very impressive. The graphics are top-notch, and the character and enemy designs are just magnificent. However, I encountered a little lag during my game, which would be okay, if it didn’t happen during random instances, like a boss battle.

Your character is very customizable, if not completely. You can customize your clothes, your skin colour (you can make yourself green!), and several different other traits. However, it seems a little too daunting, as the menu’s are not very organized or clear. I had to go through several different menus to find my AK-47, which was a little frustrating.

Gameplay

The gameplay plays out a little like Riviablo and Far-out. The combat is very identical to Riviablo, except guns are king and ammunition is limited. You can upgrade your weapons with skill trees. But like I said before, getting to these upgrade menus is very confusing and frustrating.

Boss battles are completely insane. Even the first boss battle I had difficulty trying to beat it. However, when you do, you are showered with rewards and experience, which kept me playing it. The combat can get a little stale after a while, however, as there is a lack of skills and combat attacks.

Overall

Overall, this is a genuine game, but a few minor problems hold it back from being a great game. I will give this game an 8.75.


#68

Dammit Boss… I told you i didn’t need to play this game for the 9th time!

It’s time. For Rocket Racers, on the Playsystem 1! (Also available on the PlaysystemX)

Stage 1-1 = Story

Rocket Racers… Is a racing game in its purest.
There is no story. Just… races.
There’s nothing. Nothing! I’m not gonna freak out again like last time.
There is a story in the manual stating that "An evil dictator has taken over the world! Complete his challenges to get the world back!"
I mean, like, wow.

Stage 1-2 = Presentation
While i don’t mind the graphics, it keeps bugging me that the game still uses Mode 7-esque like graphics. You know, that art style when you play V-Zero or Super Lario Kart on the STES. Many of other racing games like Destructive Derby 2 and Rascal Racings for that matter, uses the 3D on the Playsytem. I do know why they made the graphics mode 7 though…
The soundtrack! Ooh man. The soundtrack of this game is amazing! It’s energetic yet still calm and entertaining. It fits every track you race on. For Instance, when you play Aquatic Ruins, the music turns into a peaceful, calm harmony that you might hear in an opera and/or theaters. But then, you play Anorganic Monstrosity (Yes, there is a track named that.) there’s this rock dubstep song that plays. It’s kinda awesome!

Stage 1-3 = Gameplay

The Physics is great, i can assure you that. The hitboxes, though fine, still doesn’t match up to the model of the cars. You all know V-Zero and V-Zero two. It’s like that… just with awesome-r soundtrack.
The tracks are long, the enemy AI are great. But there’s just one tiny meeny little nitpick i might add… THERE’S NO HAZARDS! I’m not kidding, there isn’t even items like in Super Lario Kart. This is a pure, everlasting, Formula 2 car racing game. Seriously. Just like Destructive Derby 2, the game is just single player. It’s a shame isn’t it? Yeah. Apart from that, this is a pretty good game.

Stage 1-4 = Overall

Story = 2/5
Graphics = 4/5
Soundtrack = 5/5
Gameplay = 5/5
Replayability = 3/5

Total = 19/5
Overall = 7.5/10 = GREAT!


Grand Theft Manual 2 : London


#69

Grand Theft Manual 2: London!

Well, this is it. The expansion to GTM 2 is finally here: You are now in London! And, that’s pretty much it. Let me explain…

Story

The story in this game is overall, not very fleshed out. I mean, don’t get me wrong, stealing game manuals and selling them off to Ebuy is awesome, but that’s it. In GTM 2, you were in Los Hellangeles, stealing game manuals, now your in London, stealing MORE game manuals!

You play as Mark Green, who was the protaganist in GTM 2, who has finally finished his goal: steal all the game manuals in America. But, now he has nothing to do. So he decides to fly to London to steal THEIR game manuals! It’s maniacal!

The missions in this game are just as bland as in GTM 2 and 1. "Steal the manuals from the game store without being caught!", and several different versions of that same mission. You know it’s the only way to beat the game, but you don’t get any real reward to it.

Presentation

Since this is the expansion to GTM 2, the graphics are mainly the same. London looks pretty good and big. However, sometimes I get stuck into walls or anything, so I had to restart the game.

The greatest thing about the GTM series is looking at the manuals to see what crazy controls and hints that the manual gives you. It’s great, and a few are Great Britian oriented, and with so many, you gotta wonder how many designers worked on this.

Gameplay

Even though this is an expansion pack, there is nothing really added to the game. Like GTM 2, you sneak into peoples houses and game stores and steal game manuals. But if your caught, then you have to find the nearest scooter and ride away in an awesome car chase. But other than that, there is nothing else other than that.

Even so, it’s addicting gameplay holds it up from being a bad game. Even if has some glaring issues, it’s still a great game from a great game series. Now I’m just waiting for GTM 2: Japan.

8.25


#70

THE 64-BIT ERA IS HERE! (64th post of this thread!)

What kind of garbage is this??

Here it is, the sequel to Doctor How! How is the quality gonna be? Let’s find out.

Stage 1-1 = Story

Doctor How has been captured by Van Whatten! Can you escape his mansion and defeat the evil Daleks that has been brainwashed by Van Whatten?
^ That’s the story

Stage 1-2 = Presentation

The 2D graphics is simple, nice, and charming. Though i wish the Gameling supports colour so i can see the different colour daleks. But the game still looks awesome. The sound effects, though annoying, are still nicely produced. Have some pie and cake, producers!

Stage 1-3 = Gameplay

W-What the heck is wrong with the people who made this game? Alright. I said pie and cake on presentation. As you all know, the Pie is a Fake and the Cake is a Lie. The gameplay sucks! The physics are ruined, the game lags until 1 fps, No soundtrack! I mean. My god! Even Pixelmon Yellow had soundtrack, and it’s nice! The gameplay is ruined by the frames, the physics, and the gameplay itself. All you gotta do is kill daleks by punching them with the A button and jumping with the B button. Now, you must be thinking, “Oh, it’s a mash-em-ups game! It’s awesome!”. No, it’s not. It’s like the original Lario Bros on the TES, just with a super short range punch. AAARGH

Stage 1-4 = Overall

Story = 2/10
Graphics = 9/10
Soundtrack and SFX = 5/10
Gameplay = 2.25/10 (You got lucky because of the Lario Bros reference.)
Replayability = 3/10

Total = 21.25/10
Overall = 5.25 / 10 = BELOW AVERAGE…


Scientific Factorial 2: SCIENCE!


#71

**

Never has science been so fun!

**

I am a new reviewer in the business and I just want to say: I am glad this was one of the first games I got to play.

The game is phenomenal for it’s time and really makes me wish I was listening in science class.

The game starts out just after the sequel with you, Professor Miles Hillman, just now perfecting a new discovery in the science world: Intergalactic Space Travelling. And when Miles and his test subject, Doctor Rebecca Jones (who by the way is HOT) test his new invention they get sucked into time and space itself and disturb a far off planet in a distant galaxy. And the only way to survive and return home? SCIENCE OF COURSE!

The Story is amazing and made me sit on the edge of my seat most of the time just waiting to find out what happens when Miles puts Chloride and CO2 together. The characters were amazing as always and made me want to cry a bit when one of them died (not spoiling anything). Not to mention that the graphics are SUPERB for the Mbox and rivals most PC’s.

The only problem I had in this game just like the first was you had to know what chemicals to put in right orders, or what equation worked best. I found myself looking them up on the internet just so I could complete a level.

But overall the sound, story, graphics, even the AI made me want to applause.

Scientific Factorial 2: SCIENCE, you’ve done it again!

9.75/10: Like Spyrim with SCIENCE!

(Bla bla bal, new users can’t post images: Game Picture)


#72

Are you tired of your government being in debt? Are you sick of Uncle Sam’s shit? Then suit up, punch a lobbyist and prepare your butt for DEBT SIMULATOR!

Now if you’re not a fan of mostly text-based strategy/simulation games, then I say you’ll be a fan after playing this little gem.

Story: You have just won the election. What election? Well, THE election! You’re the freakin’ President of the United States. Not good enough? You’re the first third-party President ever! You can name yours whatever you’d like, but me? I named my party The All-American Good Guys Party. However, that’s irrelevant! Now that you’re the Prez, you must deal with the big social, economical, and international problems your predecessor has so kindly bestowed upon you. Biggest problem? National debt, baby! Trillions of dollars, to be sort of exact. Now, off to it!

Gameplay: The beauty of this game is the sheer amount that you can do. You can sign treaties, visit nations, sign bills, veto bills, etc, etc, etc. Anything the Executive branch can do, you can do. There are a TON of random events that can happen, too. Civil War, scandals, assassination attempts, even impeach. All this plays into how well the people like you, what kinds of things you’re doing to the nation. Are you taking care of that nasty debt or continuing to borrow from China? Did you veto an evil bill or is your Vice President a psychotic murderer? There’s so much to do, and it really is very easy to navigate with the pretty menu buttons.

Drawbacks: I can sit here and praise this game all day, but there is a negative aspect I’d like to address. The background music! For god’s sake, it’s a midi, looped version of Hail to the Chief. You can turn it off, but it’s damn annoying. Secondly, I’d have to say that the game can bit a bit too chaotic with all the random events. There is a slider for how frequent the random events occur, but I stumbled upon it by accident. Would be nice to have a tutorial as well.

All in all I give this game a couple of big thumbs up and a well-deserved 9.5/10. There better be a sequel.

Just a bit of info about my game. Felines Don’t Run is based off if Franklin Delano Roosevelt was a cat secretly, So, run with that.


#73

Don’t Judge a Game By Its Box Art

It’s easy to assume a game about anthropomorphic animals is geared towards children. I blame cartoons for that social tic. As such, a glance at the cover of Felines Don’t Run may have it come off as a childrens’ game. Don’t be fooled, it’s rated mature for a reason.

Felines Don’t Run has the player fight through several prominent historical wars, with a twist. Humans don’t exist in this alternate reality. The most populous sentient species on planet Earth is a race of anthropomorphic felines. There are also dog-people, and lizard-people, but cats are by far the most prominent.

The violence is brutal and realistic. There is lots of blood and gore, rendered more realistically than any other '90s game I’ve seen. The FMVs are beautifully animated, hand-drawn cartoon sequences. The voice-overs are limited to major scenes only, but the actors do their job very well. The end result is a grim and realistic depiction of the horrors of war, both physical and psychological, wrapped up in a cute cartoon animal package.

All of the cats controlled by the player are a part of the same bloodline. The first character is the ancestor of the second, who is the ancestor of the third, and so forth. They’re a family of soldiers, it’s in their blood. The game doesn’t just limit itself to terrifying you on the battlefield, though. The player is also made to watch movie sequences depicting how hard it is on a soldier’s family after he’s been deployed.

All in all, I give Felines Don’t Run a 9/10. It’s a very solid game with advanced graphics, incredible writing, and a unique style given the subject matter. I advise any parents to pay attention to ratings labels, no matter how cute the box art may be. The furries are going to love this…

And now for another Horse-Drawn Games title. This one for their second custom-designed console, the Ixion.


#74

Tactical Ponies, four installments… Will this ponies never flop?!

Welcome everybody to the review of the fourth installment in the amazing Tactis Ponies series. I personally always thought this game was really boring and there was not even a good story in it! You should think that people don’tt like your games anymore after the fourth installment. Well, that doesn’t count for Tactis Ponies 4. 42 years long did it take to make this amazing game come, well, let’s get over the review.

The story… the story… all the stories in the previous Tactics Ponies… I didn’t like them at all! How can you make a game about Ponies that need to kill each other in an arena with different sort of quests. What’s that sort of a game! It’s stupid… but this story made me like this game the most. No arenas, no killing. You just needed to help the ponies save the queen pony! How cute! I thought it was too cute, so yeah.

The levels… the levels… they are easy but challenging. Everytime you think you have the answer, something happens and ruins you thinking. Everytime there happens something, it’s just mindblowing! I think Tactics Ponies 4 is a real improvement on the other installments.

The sound… the only actual sound in the game is the ponies speaking… Yes! They actually can speak! I didn’t think this game would be this beautiful and cool. I thought always it was for little kids of 4 years old… but me, I loved it.

Okay, the conclusion: Tactics Ponies 4 is a real improvement to the other installments. The sounds are amazing, the design look awesome, the concept look badder then it actually is, the levels are mindblowing. Well, what can I say? Tactics Ponies 4 gets:


10/10


Okay, and here’s my game… hehe.

The 2nd installment in the flopping Suffocated series.


#75

**

This game will make you want to suffocate!

**

I had no idea what I was going to get after seeing this little thing land on my desk, I was amazed by the box art and saw that it was for the DreamVast, but you can’t always judge a game by it’s boxart.

First of all the story is this, you are a soldier in battle who’s job is to help people, soldiers, citizens, ect. from suffocating from many hazardous ways. But that’s it, that’s the story. No clever plot, no emotion, just it’s war and you’re a soldier that’s it.

What is there to say about this game? Well for starters the only thing you have to do is just press the buttons in a certain pattern to preform CPR. The thing is, the timing is way off and sometimes I found myself blaming the game for messing up because the timer goes to damn fast. Excuse my language I’m reviewing a children’s game; which is also another problem.

The rating says young, but the game says mature because of all the death and gore in this game. How does a game publish with an Ce rating and not be play tested first? This game is also banned in certain countries for the racism, that’s right, RACISM it has in some scenes. This game should have been tested before release.

The only praise I give for this game and not getting lower than a 3 is because of the music and graphics, they looked great and somewhat made me forget about what I was doing at times, but that doesn’t hide the fact that this game is wrong beyond belief. I’m not even going to touch the first game if I was forced to.

That’s why I am going to give this game a:

4.25/10: Okay at stages. Next Game: http://imgur.com/uXSNwDB


#76

Hoppin’ Mad

Galaxy Hop is a great example of what happens when a game developer takes a great concept, and needlessly pads it. The player is tasked with defeating alien robots to collect enough power crystals to make an FTL jump to the next galaxy. Each galaxy has multiple levels, and the game is quite long. Unfortunately, there isn’t much content within that length.

The story is practically nonexistent. Aliens have invaded, and…that’s it. Kill them all, and you win. There are three different enemy types encountered throughout the entire game. You’ll see all three of them on the very first stage. No bosses, no palette swaps, just the same three baddies. Their formations don’t even change much. There’s also little variation between stages. Every level is either space, or space with asteroids. The backdrops change, but the layouts never do.

The music is well done, and the graphics are pretty. But with 80 galaxies to explore and 10 stages within each galaxy, this game becomes tiresome very quickly. It’s an absolute blast for the first 10 stages, but the game follows an identical formula after that (stage one easiest, stage ten hardest, next galaxy). I wouldn’t be surprised if Galaxy Hop turned out to be a port of an arcade title.

6.25/10
Pros: Great gameplay and music, pretty good graphics.
Cons: Incredibly long and repetitive.


#77

Have you ever wanted to be the very best? Like no one ever was? Say no more, friend. Vroooooooom! CaRPG is just rolled into the showroom.

Story: You start out as a ten-year-old boy or girl depending on which gender you chose and it’s summer! This can only mean it’s time for the annual SOAP BOX DERBY! You and your friends planned out this sweet ride all winter and spring during lunch at school. Team Ultra Lightning you’ve dubbed yourselves and you unroll the blueprints to your sweet ride. You customize this bad boy for weeks until the big race and you get the honor of racing. You love the thrill of the race, the wind in your face, and power you feel with your ride under your control. The race is over and you’ve won! Fast forward twelve years later and you’re a hopeful amateur in the world of off-road racing.

Gameplay: The intro is beautifully done in how you have the ability to customize the heck out of your soap box racer, which gets you used to the options you’ll be using so often later on. The race also gives you a basic grasp on the controls. At it’s core, CaRPG is a racing game, but whereas other racing games have pre-selected vehicles, this one allows you to basically build your own ride from the frame up. You have limited options at first, but the more you race and win, the more money and fame you gain. With this comes sponserships, better parts, and even more daring, death-defying races. Did I mention the crashes were awesome?

Graphics/Sound: This game pushed the envelope of 3D gaming and delivers beautiful landscapes, and varied textures. The rendering of various landscapes in various locales ranging from the Sahara to Canada is quite impressive. Playing this game makes me feel like I’m in a car going 100+mph with the beautiful sounds the engines make, the crunch of metal in crashes and the squealing of tires. Let’s also not forget the soundtrack and it’s heavy grunge-inspired feel.

Pros: So much in this category. Graphics, sound, music, customization options, and the clever car makes and models they have came up with

Cons: This is not a very hard game. This game is fun, engaging and innovative. However, it doesn’t pose much of a challenge when it comes to racing. The drivers you race against don’t make it too hard for you to pass and will often crash very easily, so it kind of breaks the immersion.

Final thoughts: All-in-all, despite the AI issue, this game is the new measuring stick for racing games of this time. If you want to do it right, this is where you gotta look. If the AI had been a bit more polished, then I’d give this a perfect score, but since it’s a bit lackluster… 9.75/10

I have forgotten to name quite a few games, so here you go!


#78

Game #81 - Lame name but one of the best games around!

When I bought “Game #81” in order to review it, I though “this is gonna suck”. But, when I started the game and played it for some time, I realized how much wrong I was. Game #81 is a perfect Action-Strategy game, and it adds all kinds of Material Arts in it, and has a perdect PlaySystem 4 controler support.

You start the game as a new student in the chinese school for Kong-Fu. As the game goes by, you Master is beieng murdered after you learned only the basics of Kong-Fu. Your mission is to find the killer and use your Kong-Fu skills to learn more and face the killer.

The game has a perfect combat system. You use your skills in first-person mode, which works great with the PlaySystem 4’s controller. The game is a perfect combination of both Strategy and Action, and it’ll give you fun for a long time. To be honest, I have no idea why they called the game “Game #81”. This is the worst name ever, and if the game wasn’t so good I’d give it a 5/10 just for the lame name. But, the game is a masterpiece, so I give it a 10/10. Stop reading, go and buy it!


#79

Fallout 5… isn’t that that game that sold 7,5 billion copies?!

It actually is.

Fallout 5, the post apocalyptic RPG. Amazing! It’s amazing! The graphics are mindblowing, the sounds are fantastic and the story is to be amazed of. I never played a Post Apocalyptic game as good as this one. And personally, I always thought Post Apocalyptic games sucked. But yes, when I played Fallout 5 my mind changed. In a good way!

Well, let’s talk about the graphics first. You should think, in a 161 career you have to get the best graphics available on the earth right? Well, they do! And all the other reviewers thought so too, let’s say Fallout 5 has a average rating of 10/10. It’s one of the only Post Apocalyptic games out there nowadays. Well, I really recommend Fallout 5… If you player the previous installments, Fallout 5 is NOTHING like that, in a good way.

The sounds are very improved if you take the sounds from the previous installments… Only a gun shot makes you cry! It’s actually as realistic as sounds can be… Sometimes you think: ‘Where are the shots happening? Not in the mall next to my house right?’… No! In the game! ‘In the game? That’s impossible.’ Well… it actually isn’t and thats what Fallout 5 proves.

And as always the last section… the story. IS THERE A STORY?! It’s almost a real story! Stories are fake right… well, this one feels like it isn’t! It’s as interactive as it can be, YOU ARE THE PERSON IN THE GAME! YOU ARE! It might feel like you aren’t if you think about it, but when you play the game… you’re gonna change your mind. Believe me.

The conclusion: Fallout 5 is fantastic and amazing in every way. I have never seen a Post Apocalyptic game as good as this one… the fans think so too because the fansite exploded! Immediately 507 million people registered on the fansite from the company. The sounds are amazing, the gameplay fantastic, the graphics mindblowing and the story too realistic! Fallout 5 gets a:

10/10

Well, I think we need some more games from Electronic Farts… don’t we?! Well, here’s one:

The 2nd installment in the Comedy Video Games series of Electronic Farts. The 1st installment called Kiss My Balls Away was nothing compared to this one, but a hit. Well, have fun with writing a review!


#80

Does history annoy you? Do you often wish you could grab a time machine and a couple of rpgs and blow the dicks off of those nasty historical figures? Well, I know I do! Electronic Farts has just what us angry twenty-somethings need… Blow Up History!

Story: Despite the fast that this is indeed a silly concept of a game, the story is actually quite solid. You’re a Marine, one of the best Marines out there and you’ve been doing your duty for your country for nearly eleven years. You’ve seen it all: disemboweled terrorists, children casualties, some of your best friends blown the fuck up and lots of other nasty scenes. War is what you know and you’re especially good at it. You’ve been rounded up along with a few other special force badasses for a very special mission for Uncle Sam. The mission? Go back into time and kill some of histories nastiest baddies. You’re changing history, one Hitler at a time.

Gameplay: What we have here is your typical over-the-shoulder, third person shooter set up. That is where the typical experience ends. Sure, you can shoot, aim and kill, but you do it in such an over-the-top 80’s tough guy movie way that pretty much everything explodes. The controls are so simple. You can go from shooting bad guys up with your uzi to dick punching a close by enemy in no time at all! You have a wide array of weapons, including hand-to-hand, in various time periods. I won’t spoil all the time periods, but a few are as follows: WW1 and 2, Civil War, and Trojan War. That’s just the tip of the iceberg, kids. Did I mention you can get yourself hookers? Get incredibly drunk before you kill some mothertruckers? Or perhaps the fact that you get special unlocks if you get a certain amount of dick punches or ass shots? Need I say more?

Graphics/Sound Beautiful. Just fucking beautiful. I felt as if I was on the battlefield. The music was incredible since they got a full orchestra on this one!

Pros: Mostly everything. Story, graphics, controls, Really well done.

Cons: The multiplayer is a big issue here. It doesn’t seem to sync up right sometimes. If you’re partner goes too far, it’ll teleport you to them and it will usually result in some serious dying. They really need to release a patch to fix this.

Final words: All I have to say is this: fix the multiplayer and I will give this game a 10/10. For now… 9.75/10


#81

A Bleak Road Ahead

This is absolutely the most melodramatic game I’ve ever played. It’s hyped up as a superspy action-RPG, but don’t pick it up expecting James Bond.

For starters, the superspy protagonist suffers from severe depression because of a serious identity crisis. He (or she? it’s never made entirely clear) is a master of disguise who has lost touch with who (s)he really is. And with all of the infiltration and double/triple/quadruple-agenting, who is (s)he even really working for?

These are decisions the player is able to make. There is a truly staggering number of alternate endings. I’ve found 13 so far, but I read online that there is a grand total of 51 endings. That’s madness! Sweet, delicious madness!

Not all is perfect, though. The writing is very much over-the-top, in the worst of ways. If drama is the glue that holds a plot together, you can easily see the excess drama oozing out of the cracks in Bleak Road. This game has so many “but thou must!” moments that they lose their punch entirely. Spoiler alert: everyone you care about is going to die a horrible and traumatic death, often as a direct or indirect result of your actions, and you’re expected to have some sadness left in you after the first ten times.

The line readings are also so cheesy that it almost feels like a campy comedy. That is, until something depressing happens as a reminder that you’re supposed to be sad.

Despite those faults, Bleak Road offers some excellent and well-polished gameplay. The controls are tight and intuitive, the graphics are lifelike, and the game runs very smoothly at all times. There are no bugs or hiccups that I’ve seen.

The wide variety of customizable weapons, massively branching skill tree, and custom disguise feature are all excellent inclusions as well. Anyone who enjoys customization is sure to enjoy these aspects.

All in all, I give Bleak Road for the Apex System a 6.75 out of 10.


#82

Spelling Knights
Spelling Knights is somewhat of a strange title, you play as a knight in medieval Europe, sounds cool right?
You control sections of your king’s army throughout the game and the controls are very good, making you seem like a masterful general when you can work out the strategy needed to win. You get postbattle reports and even stories from your solders telling you about their experience in the battle. There are some truly sad moments too but I won’t spoil.
But then there is the other word in the title: spelling
There is WAAAAAY too much spelling even for a Vocab game. Every word you say must be spelled out. Every word. And you talk a lot in this game.

In the first part of the game you are at your King’s court getting ready to escort him to a diplomatic meeting. It isn’t so bad yet but then… He asks you how you feel about the kingdom and you just keep talking. You talk for almost 30 MINUTES!!! AND YOU HAVE TO SPELL EVERY GODDAMNED OLD ENGLISH WORD YOU SAY! THEN YOU TALK FOR THE WHOLE HORSE TROT THERE!! YOU TROT YOUR HORSE FROM LONDON TO SCOTLAND!! SPELLING EVERYTHING!!! i…i couldn’t do it…i just couldn’t, I had to take a break for a day before giving it another go. Luckily you don’t have to spell during battles.

The graphics are really nice, the colors are sharp and crisp.
When you are NOT TALKING the soundtrack sounds medieval-like, like being in a tavern plus some more epic music during battles.
Voices are some of the best I have ever heard and since THAT IS ALL YOU WILL EVER HEAR they better be.
The story is the best part, hands down.The game has hundreds of hours of the story on it and comes with 126 cards 20 of which for saving because there is not enough room on the Gameling to save. There is apparently hundreds of branches to choose from, each with an slightly different ending. You go from Britain to Poland to Italy to almost every European country that existed in the time period.
In fact almost all of the game is good but the spelling. If it had not had this it would make the game an almost perfect experience but it just ruins it.

Final score: 6/10 Above Average

And the first game from a new independent game company: Gloves Gaming!
“Can you control The Plague?” “A realistic disease control game from the military’s side,riots,death,complete destruction!, this text based game will have you sweating!”


#83

An Ambitious Indie Title

A non-spoiler review by Vinzentice

There have been a number of great Indie games lately. Some notable examples are FTS: Faster Than Sound, Alcatraz Architect, and my personal favorite, Game Dev Tycoon. But this time I am going to review a strategy game called The Plague. A quick advice, before you play this game, grab a soda and your reading glasses cause there will be a lot of reading. You have been warned.

First of all, the gameplay. The controls are kinda easy to understand. The game isn’t giving a wall of choices. It instead gives only five choices, and can be chosen more than once, that effect the entire game depending on when it’s executed and what choice do you make after the previous one. With this the game will be very engaging and have a lot of replayability value.

Another thing is that this game has a randomizer aspect. That means every playthrough is different everytime you press that new game button, making it hours of gameplay never the same experience.

The downside of the game is that, since this is a text based game, it gives you lots and LOTS of text to read. I mean seriously, even though the choices are simple enough, the stats that’s shown are countless. Because of that, I have to pay attention to every little detail or I’m done for.

That’s the other problem. The game resets your progresion everytime you lose. it only save if you need to quit. Now, if this game is short, I don’t have to worry about losing because I can easily progress to the point were I lost the last time pretty quickly. But as I said, the game punishingly double-teamed my with walls of information and a harsh consequence.

Overall the Game isn’t that bad. It’s got potential, but it could be better if the armies of info was turned into a simple 8-bit illustration. Still, the fact that this is made in about three months, I’d say it’s an achievement for Gloves Gaming. And I’m looking forward of what this company is going to develop next.

Final Score: 5.5

I’m sorry guys, but I lost my save of GDT. So would anyone kindly post their own game in replacement of mine? Again, I’m really sorry :frowning:


#84


#85

Pretty Pony Tales

Bringing hope to TV-licensed games

Pretty Pony Tales is TV-licensed game which would cause many of you to scream and run after the infamous Battletoads:The Game (which received a 0/10 from us) but unlike Battletoads this shows some promise. If you don’t already know the game is based off the popular children’s television show “Your Pretty Pony” featuring cartoon ponies going on various kid friendly adventurers. This game pulls it off quiet well, playing like Pixelmon with its top down-like view. There are some nice puzzles in it although I think some kids might find them too challenging. The world is also large but is empty for the most part leaving hardly any adventure in this adventure game.

Story: I had no idea what was going on the entire game, I picked up some stuff that sounded like nods to the TV show but the story for the most part is non-existent.

Gameplay: The puzzles along the “story” were well made, having to use various “pony powers” to complete them. However, there are TONS of “pony powers”,almost 75, and I had to use most of them to solve the puzzles, so kids might get frustrated or overwhelmed by the amount.

Graphics: Very colorful is a way to put this, I assume you are in some “ponyland” but there are just rainbows everywhere. Kids might enjoy this but I found it too bright.
Sound: Sound was horrid, only one song plays in the backround and sound you make when you cast pony powers is really loud and annoying when you have to cast a lot in a short time.

Overall this is a fun game to play and I think kids will love it. The sound and graphics are bad and the story sucks but compared to Battletoads and other games like it, it is a shining achievement. If your kids like the show pick it up for a holiday, but more hardcore gamers might want to skip this.

7.5/10 Good

The second game from Gloves Gaming!
“When a hostile alien race contacts Earth, can you lead the world’s forces and defend it?”

“Now with new 2D graphics!”


#86

Is there life somewhere deep in the universe? Are there really little green men from Mars coming to Ack our heads off, enslave Humanity and subsequently seduce us? NO! They’re gray!

Story: We hoped they came in peace. We hoped we could share cultures and technology. We hoped too much. We saw their ships first, but only just. They were big, and by no means were they saucers. The news stations were buzzing, the trepidation was palpable, and the silence as we watched them on our televisions was unforgettable. They attacked without warning, without parlay, without mercy, and blood spilled. Our armies assembled, sure. We had hope, there was that. We had nuclear weapons, too. They didn’t care. We fought them on land, on air, and we did manage to fight them back some; in the end, we knew they had done this before. Now it’s nearly the end of days for humanity and we have only one hope: unity. The armies are reassembling and plans are made.The Gray Ones think they’re gods, but we’ll show them. If God is out there, then let him have mercy on their souls

Gameplay: You pilot a fighter jet in this side scroller, shooting down the Gray Ones with the tap of your joystick (or enter key, if you do not have a joystick) and you have the ability to unlock different weapon types. The game is fun, interesting enough, and has a fantastic backstory. However, it’s very samey. The stages come in three distinct types: Cityscapes, mountains, and an ocean with random battle ships. You shoot enemies down, power up, fight a big boss, and repeat with a slightly different background. The powerups? Missiles, lasers, and nukes. The nukes aren’t as cool as you’d hope, only blowing up a few enemies at most and they’re quite rare.

Graphics/Sound Even though it is repetitive, and recycled, the game does look good. It’s colorful, clear, and well-thought out. The sounds aren’t to abrasive and the explosions sound cool as heck, so I’d say it’s a win there.

Pros: Awesome story, fast-paced and not too difficult. Looks good and sounds good.

Cons Very repetitive, not enough powerups, and backgrounds are too recycled.

Final words: All-in-all, this wasn’t a bad effort. I did have fun and I would say give it a try, but if you lose interest real quick, it’ll bore you. That being said, I think they should use this plot for a movie or something because the story is a definite winner. I give this game a 6.5/10 and if they make a sequel, please polish it more.