Just for fun: Write a game review for the poster above you


#47

Jammin’ Down The Fisting Street!

Watcha Look at that! A comedy game??? An ADVENTURE GAME??? WHO WROTE THE SCRIPT OF THIS REVIEWING THING??? I think this is a great game. Awesome Soundtrack, Graphics, Mechanics, and Controls. One thing’s missing though… What is that?- OH WAIT- This game lacks SFX! Although the Soundtrack is covering it all, when you turn down the music, you just hear footsteps of Mr. Long Beans (Get it?) and his incredibly annoying shout. * being the real world Mr. Bean * AAH! Hello! * stops *. But other than that, the Music is incredibly jamming, humour’s… ahahahah… You just go play this game… ahahahah…

I’ll give it a 9.25 out of 10! It’s Great, but not the best. Please! Go buy it on eBeach or the nearest Floormart! Oh! and make sure you have Micronoft’s Door eXPerience Operating System or above!

This game is actually a sequel to a game called Silent Mountain, but i can’t fit these many texts into it, so the full title and motto is here.

Quiet Hill : The Mistery of the Missing Son

Where did he go? Is he alone?


#48

The Mystery of the Missing Son may be a Quiet Hill game, but I was screaming the whole time! This game literally scared the :green_heart: out of me. This review won’t give anything away, because I want you to be just as scared as I was.

First of all, the monsters in Quiet Hill are scarier than ever before, and yes, even scarier than Cylinder Head ( who may or may not make a reappearance ). You really have to give props to the developers; The creatures look so life-like, I could see the death in their eyes when they spotted me, and the swinging flesh when they chased.

But it’s not just a graphic-centric game, it stands true to the psychological horror game.

My rating: 9.25/10

Can’t wait for the sequel.

Someone post an image below me. I had to make a review to make up for my previous post.


#49

Well, I’ll make my review up with another one then… but here’s an image from the game called: Alice’s Last Words made and published by Electronic Arts Inc. (I’m so original…)


#50

Uh-Oh. @Charlie! Somebody pulled the S-bomb trigger!

Alice’s Last Words- The Last World of game that i will review, and the best one yet.

DISCLAIMER :
This will be the last ever review i will do. I’m retiring from reviewing games, i got better things to do. But to be honest, it’s for the best. Let’s get on with the review.

Alice’s Last Words is an amazing game. This Fantasy Game is the best one i’ve ever played, the worst being Dragon vs. Dinosaur. The graphics, the soundtrack, the story, the controls! And oh. The Sound Effects… Oh they are the BEST! This game, following Duty Calls 2’s footprints, has an amazing technology stuff! Do you know the game Grand Theft Manual 4 : Laborty City? It has an amazing minimap and GPS tracking system, well this game has it too! The overworld is awesome, the background and foregrounds, it simply is gorgeous. I reccomend this to you, and i give it a 9.5 out of 10.

And… Yes… Goodbye.
But here is a game from Redheart Rages!


#51

Shinobi… this is a game that sets a recort, although compared to other games, the sells were low, this is one of the best games I ever played!

The story fitted, you could feel the charcaters, when Yajhu’s Sensei died, you cried a little aswell, didn’t you? The story speaks about Yajhu, and we live his entire life, from the moment he was born, till his death, as the best Shinobi. The creators focused on the gameplay rather then the grapichs, making it extremely good. Catch a copy now, maybe they’ll release an sequal!!!

I give this one a 9.1, and really want a sequal, the people who wrote the plot should give an award.

And this is a game from a small studio named Edo Proudctions.


#52

An instant classic, and a truly splendiferous follow-up to the original Time Lord.

Placed in the role of the eponymous Time Lord, the player is tasked with traveling throughout various time periods to correct chrono-distortions and anachronisms. Rival time travelers, sentient robots, and mischevious aliens stand in the way. The player is also capable of altering past events, either by accident or intentionally. Anything done in one time period has drastic effects on all time periods following it. The number of possible permutations is staggering. Time Lord 2 really redefines the established boundaries of what the Playsystem can do. This is a game you can play again and again, potentially forever. You’ll never play through the same way twice, even if you try!


#53

July Fools~! You really thought i’m gonna quit my job? and you’re gonna commit suicide after i quit it?

DISCLAIMER : Do NOT actually murder someone or kill yourself. Those actions are illegal and considered lame by most sane human beings. Seriously bro, chill out and have some tea or something. It’s just a joke.

As today is the Special Sarcastic Edition of the Ninvento Power magazine. I’m gonna be reviewing Pretty Pony RPG, for the Super TES.

This game. * sigh * This game! This is just as good as Super Lario World. The sense of adventure, awesomeness, bravery, and THOSE PONIES are a-mazing!. It’s…
a bit more exciting, a bit more graphics, a bit more Chalrie the Younicorn, a bit more ponies, a bit more music, a bit more stuff, a bit more more stuff, a bit more amazingness, a bit more Power, a bit more Vena can’t do something like this, a bit more Italics, a bit more sarcasm, a bit more controls, a bit more bits. IT’S THE 16 BIT ERA! Yeah. You get the point.

I give it a… 9.25 (background noise “Hahahahaha!”). It’s a good game. And with this review, i close the Special Sarcastic Edition of the Ninvento Power series! G-good, bye! (And see you next game!)

ADVERTISEMENT

Introducing, Greenheart Games! The best video game company, and their new game. PONG!


#54

Bizarre and Unexpected

Princess Pong has been captured. It is up to her loyal knight, Ping, to rescue her. The simple, black-and-white polygon graphics make it all but impossible to tell what’s going on. The player is only able to make sense of what they’re seeing if told. Unfortunately. the game’s narration contains enough broken English to make it borderline unplayable. The story is confusing and inconsistent, the character sprites are impossible to identify, and the sound effects are downright painful. Despite all of this, I couldn’t stop playing. Pong has a lot of glaring negatives, but is rescued from being total trash by virtue of its intuitive and genuinely fun gameplay. Try it, briefly. Just don’t try to make sense of it, or you’ll hurt yourself.

I give Pong a 4.25 out of 10. This may well be the start of an entirely new genre defined by electronic masochism.

And now for another title from Horse-Drawn Games, creators of Pretty Pony RPG…


#55

And today, for the Special No-Brainer Stuff Thing Edition of the PCGamerZ magazine!

Hello! This is your totally your favorite game reviewer.

Exafactionificatining of the Devil Gunner

This game is awesome! The sense of adventure, the tense of exile, the blends when you try to kill those annoying 3-dimensional-atom-ring-thingies, and the game itself! This is what you call a Fantasy Action game. It’s got beautiful layout, UI, graphics. And it seems that the guys and gals from Horse-Drawn Games decided that the gaming community and put this in a somewhat new Polygon structured game, where you’re exploring a 3D world, using 2D sprites. I’m very proud of what’s been done to this game. Oh! and if you’re reading this, Horse-Drawn Director, there’s a bug where your enemy tends to stand horizontally and do the planking stuff kids tried these days. Weird.

I give it a 8.75 out of 10. It’s a good game, but has lots and lots and lots of bugs in it.
This is the Entertainment Software Rating Plate (the ESRP).


#56

gasp Quick, someone post another screen so we can keep playing! Hurry, before there’s still time! (posting another after I just had one of mine reviewed feels rude, but I have some prepared if nobody else has one)


#57

Woops i forgot the game.


#58

Please, God, let this title be misleading.

Rarely have I encountered such a masterpiece. The graphics are as gorgeous as can be in monochrome. The world is massive, pushing the limits of the Gameling’s hardware. The characters are both impressive and believable. The dialogue is impeccably well-written. The story is enthralling. Every aspect is simply magnificent. Every aspect, that is, aside from the sound effects. I can’t fault the developers for the limited audio capabilities of the Gameling, but the background music tends to get a little repetitive and the sound effects are basic at best.

9.75 out of 10, I highly recommend it.

Next up, a best selling hit from Horse-Drawn Games (hard to see, but that’s a 10).


#59

Whoosh! Here comes another one.

Welcome back to the grTunes blog! Today, i, Sulthan A. will be reviewing one of the game apps available on the App Store!

The Grammar Ponies?

Horse-Drawn Games has made another awesome game, this time it’s the Sequel to the famous indie title, Pretty Pony RPG, simply titled grPonies. Nothing really much going on here, as i have already discussed the prequel, just look it up in the Ninvento Power magazine edition 9001. But this title is simply more awesome-r than its prequel.

The Pretty Ponies have saved Prince Cihuahua, but this time they’re in for a REAL adventure, an adventure which no ponies have been before! This time… they enter a random save-the-princess kingdom thing… Just like the Super Lario Bros, the Pretty Ponies need to scavel (hah, haven’t used that word yet) 8 different worlds. This time with more gorgeous graphics, simply awesome touchscreen controls, and a new feature using the grPhone’s tilt-sensing ability.

I don’t know what to say, i’ll give it a 10/10. It’s worth a shot to buy. And it’s only 1.99! So GO TRY IT DAMMIT! -Sulthan

Next time. On the GamerZ magazine…

Redheart Rages decided it’ll be good to make a prequel of their hit game, Space Invators 2. Since they seriously didn’t think why they put a 2 there…


#60

So much fun, it defies spelling.

Redheart Rages has done it again. This unique take on classic gameplay flipped my lid. This is no casual arcade-style game, don’t let the title fool you. Space Invators is a game that requires a lot of tactical thinking. The player not only has to shoot all of the aliens before they reach the ground, but is also tasked with positioning ground troops, building and maintaining defensive structures, and overseeing evacuation of civilians. If you aren’t prepared, you’ll be overwhelmed in seconds.

Before each level begins, you’ll be given a chance to look at the battlefield and examine your available units. This stage is crucial, and proper planning is essential to finish even the earlier stages. The game will end if too many civilians are killed or abducted, so be sure to position enough troops to escort them safely. Much of the game takes place inside a mobile anti-aircraft platform. If the aliens reach the ground alive, the protagonist leaves his defensive gun and fights the aliens on foot with a rifle. The shooter controls are tight and intuitive, but the protagonist is so severely outmatched that there’s little hope of winning if more than two or three ships land.

Multiplayer mode is fun, but only two available multiplayer stages make it feel repetitive. The graphics aren’t the best I’ve ever seen, but are well-done nonetheless and stylistically fit this game like a glove. Of all the things I can praise about Space Invators, the soundtrack deserves the most love. A staggering list of rock songs spanning over 40 years of guitar-shredding awesomeness form the audial backdrop to the human-alien war. The pacing of the story is just about perfect. The tech tree contains an impressive array of upgrades and customizations for buildings, guns, and soldiers. The tagline “Defend humanity, your way.” is honestly the most accurate way to describe the upgrade system.

All in all, I give it a 9.75 out of 10. Trust me, you need this game in your life.

Next up, Pegged II by Horse-Drawn Games. The highly anticipated sequel to the successful and wildly popular (9.25) Pegged, a pirate adventure game for PC.


#61

Pegged II

Where can I even BEGIN? After the runaway success that was Pegged, Horse-Drawn Games seems determined to shoot themselves in the foot with this sequel! There are rumours that Pegged II was developed under an entirely different production team to the original and it shows; gone is the adventure on the high seas, the action-packed boarding sections, that were a firm fan favourite of the original, the characters we got to know and love and even the Parrot vs. Monkey treasure battle mini-game! Instead, it’s replaced with… Gay jokes. I WISH I was kidding.

It’s like the development team, or at least the story department, hadn’t even heard what the first game was about! With all of the old favourite characters, such as Captain Pegleg and Jim Whistle stripped out, the game resorts to desperately trying to be funny, mocking the taste in partners, that men trapped on a ship for months on end, must have. The first joke was maybe funny, in a childish way, but the whole game is packed with them! Not only that, the wild and distinctive, swashbuckling combat of the original, has been stripped out, in favour of uninspired, linear fencing duels, that all play out exactly identically. It was here I also discovered a rather glaring bug - there is no way to lose! As an experiment, I let Long Johnson (I am not even joking), stand still and be stabbed no less than eighty-seven times, before I stopped shaking my head and went on with this torture.

That is not to say that Pegged II does not have a handful of good points, buried, as they are, like the most valuable pirate treasure in the Caribbean. I have to give the game kudos in at least one area and that is, that it doesn’t give up. Production quality, especially in the graphical department and the distinctive, re-tooled soundtrack, stays consistently high throughout the game and you can occasionally tell the developers really wanted to make a game you could enjoy, they just went about it entirely the wrong way. Like a punch-drunk pirate in a seedy tavern, the game keeps swinging until the last, even though it’s clearly already done for. In addition, the ending took a surprising turn for depth and maturity, handing the subject with a degree of sensitivity and heart that took me entirely by surprise. It wrapped up lose ends and was a solid resolution to the story. It’s such a shame that I had to slog through 5-6 hours of uninspired, samey bilge water to get there.

Pegged II gets a shameful 3.75 out of 10, by the powers!

(Too new to upload images, so here it is: Angel Heart)

From Shenanigans Game Studios, the makers of the smash hits Spellbalde 2 and Dungeon Conqueror and creators of the award-winning Finalis Legends series, comes Angel Heart, a touching tale of love, adventure and the fate of not only our world, but the secret one all around us.

Developed with: the Shadow Lord Engine

Features: Version 3, 3D graphics
Full orchestral soundtrack
Interactive, branching story
Moral choices
Cloud saving
Skill trees
Fully-voiced dialogue trees
Dynamic environment effects
A dynamic, open world, with realistic weather and no loading screens!


#62

http://i.imgur.com/qM5PNG3.png
An Angel Heart in an Angel World

I ran to the retail shop and there was a line full of people holding the Angel Heart disc. Fortunately I got a copy and then I realized that the game is going to be very good. As I was putting the disc in the system, a nice orchestra music was playing to begin the epicness of the game.
As I played the game you choose a person to talk but that depends of your confidence and if you are in a good mood or not which is really awesome. You talk to them quite realistically and human-like, but be careful! If you are inexperienced telling lies you get nervous and if a person detects that, you may lose a relationship. If you don’t tell lies, you get less nervous.
The world itself is really detailed and well made. You can’t get to an apartment building unless a person randomly enters there with a key, if you knock a door and a person that doesn’t know you, it will be more likely that he doesn’t want to talk with you. You can have a job and you can lose it if you fail too many times.
But the most interesting part is the dreams. The dreams may tell you some future “videos” of you talking with a stranger girl (but with a blurry face) and you talking to her.
If you choose the perfect girl the good dreams will be more common and your self-esteem will raise. If your girlfriend somehow knows that you have a 2nd girlfriend, both of the girls will reject you.
The playtime is 30 hours or so. The orchestra music is really nice to listen and really fits some situations that may occur in the game. The game really inspires some people and shows how romance can be harsh or nice sometimes. The story is really good, very in-depth and changes as you play the game. You have a skill tree where you choose what you are good with and you will likely get girls with common interests. The game only loads in the beginning (about 30 seconds!) and you can play the game the entire day without having loading screens whichenter code here is very pleasing!
In short, very good game, highly recommendable for solitary gamers that may learn how to get some friends!
I give it a 8.25. Beautiful!


The tenth game of the massively popular series of Y > that get usually (8-10) this one is presumed the last of its series, IMO because it hit the number X (10) But some fans got a little bit disappointed but not too much!
Let’s see the features of this beast


Advanced cutscenes, Full motion video, moral choices, Immersive story telling, reactive quests, the so important save game, multiplayer support, video playback, basic/advanced physics, a save to cloud support, and the thing so important to fans, the awesome mods, it requires a console to play with our fancy gamepad, achievements, character progression, Skill trees, cooperative play, virtual reality headset, The awesome dialogues, dialogue tree, realistic body language, easter eggs, dynamic environment, no loading screens, 3D graphics V7 (holy cow!), surround sound and orchestral music, open world, day & night cycle, realistic weather, dynamic world and (uff) rich backstory!


The game achieved an astounding 2523 design and 1956 of tech! Got a massive market campaign and has its own unique hardware! We look forward for the reviews! It’s a rare AAA game!


#63

The End of an Era

Announced as the final game in the Y > series, Y > X is absolutely a solid game. Does it live up to the hype? Well…

I’ll start with the positives.

This game is absolutely gorgeous. The graphics and body language are thoroughly lifelike. Combined, they give characters a more realistic look than any video game or movie I’ve ever seen. It’s like watching real people. Using a virtual reality headset adds to the immersion, removing the disconnect you feel by looking at a television.

The gameplay area is both sprawling and entirely real. While many games have done away with the traditional “world map”, Y > X revels in it. The collective explorable area of the world map is larger than all the locations of the previous Y > games combined! Time passes as you play, and realistic seasons are involved. Interestingly, there is alternate dialogue for every story scene in the game to reflect the time of year, and even time of day.

Even the most minor of NPCs has a full voiceover, and there is very little repetition among voice actors. This presents an incredibly diverse world, as every one of the numerous random background characters you see on the street has his or her own voice.

And now, for the less positive.

The story is stilted, and relies on cliches. There are so many shout-outs to previous games in the series, that they practically carry Y > X’s plot. Even the voice actors sound bored most of the time. The plot is so “typical fantasy game” that it may even be satire. The writers made no attempt to explore new territories, or even new permutations of old ideas.

While the music is beautiful, there are only two battle themes. One for random encounters, and one for scripted battles (boss or otherwise). Each cutscene or movie receives its own unique background music, but every fight in the game features one of two tired themes. It might help if the battle music were catchier than it is. Even the final boss has the same old scripted battle theme.

Despite these flaws, Y > X is a thoroughly enjoyable game. Hardcore fans of the Y > series will be disappointed, but RPG lovers will want it in their collection. I give it a 7 out of 10.

(I don’t remember which features I used, but I believe it had 3d graphics v3, simple cutscenes, day/night cycle, rich backstory, and some other things I can’t recall.)


#64

Are you trying to kill me?

Goooooooooood day everyone! Because Ninvento Power is no longer with us (sad, i know), i’m gonna post my reviews on the official ninvento time machine blog! This blog goes wherever, whenver, and there is internet in the Govodore 64 era! Because i’m a wizard or something like that.

And for today’s topic… it’s… what?.. boss, are you trying to murder me in front of over 9000 people that are subscribers of our MyTube channel? Fine… breathes in

Hello and today we are discussing Pretty Pony RPG 2! You all know this game. We have heard it on news, on tv, on the super nintendo radio- wait that’s not out outside of japan. Ok… So… Hmm… Let’s get on with the review shall we?

Stage 1-1 = Story
The Prince has been captured! It’s up to you, the Pretty Pony, Larry to save her! …That’s it… There’s nothing else… THERE’S NOTHING! …THERE ISF ASGNANOT NOTHINGGGGG!!!

~Our video has experienced a technical issue, please wait for 9001 miliseconds~

Stage 1-2 = Presentation
Though i’m not fond of the story, i am looking forward to the presentation part of this review.

The game is absolutely GORGEUS. The sprites looks nice, the backgrounds, foregrounds, and 3D enviroment fits. The TES 64’s 3D sure looks really awesome on the game like this. Oh! and i must add that you will need the Expansion Pak to play this game. If you have a 64-dd Add on for the system, i’m guessing they might be providing a CD edition of this game. Probably. Possibly… Hopefully…

Stage 1-3 = Gameplay

The game itself, is… well… a platformer. Just like Super Lario 64, it is a platformer.
That’s it. Okay? I’m too lazy to add more. Fine.
The gameplay, while not amazing, has a fine touch put into it. The A button makes you jump, the B button makes you attack an enemy, like the EVIL CAT ARMY FROM HELL-

~This video is still having technical issues, please leave, or if you still want to watch it, stay for a couple hours~

The Y button makes you look into your inventory. Now. This is the most weird thing in video games. But the X button… makes you… randomly turn into a cake. I don’t know why, but i like it. There are 6 world in Ponytropolis, the weirdest name for a country. There are a total of 9 stages in each world. In each world there is a secret level hidden in one of the stages. If you get to this secret level… a surprise! No spoilers! :#

Stage 1-4 = Overall
This is a good game, i recommend you play it. Not a great game, but it’s okay for its own standards. I’ll give it an 8.25 out of 10.


Next time, on the PC GamerZ magazine…


#65

Do i really have to post a reply for Theme Nation? :C im not very good with reviewing things and i just wanted to see what other people would say for my game :I Oh well

New users cant post images :frowning: https://www.dropbox.com/s/cfrcflk34cs59ey/Blood%20Limb%20Hospital.png


#66

Theme Nation

You are the Supreme leader and are you capable enough to lead your nation?

This game is not your standard build & lead a nation game.
The title might gave that away.
You are building and leading a nation, don’t get me wrong.
It’s the way you are building and leading is is very interesting about this game
Everything has a kind of spoof element about it. with a big wink to those last dictatorships in the world.
Having your citizens rally up every week for ridiculous but very entertaining parades and cheering at you while riding a sort of pope mobile.
All though it’s loads of fun to organise all kinds of crazy things, which would only be a reality if you would happen to live in North Korea or Wadiya, the game lacks depth and after a while you start to wonder if should actually be called a strategy.
Apart from troop placement to prevent invasions from other countries, there is not much strategy about it.

Anyone that likes to build and manage games, should give this one a try.
There are more then 150 unique buildings you can place in your nation and building a good infrastructure can be very challenging sometimes.
The graphics are really good and they have spend a lot of time on amazing sounds as well.

You will spent a lot of time on diplomacy and there you will find probably the biggest miss in the game.
Lack of good dialog
The "Conversations"you have with other leaders feel very generic and repetative.
For me it was a annoying part of the game and made me improve on my quick-click-away skills.

Luckily there is a demo available at www.theme-nation.net, so feel free to give this game a try and judge for yourself.

+

The game can be very entertaining
Graphics
Sound

-

Lack of good dialog
Barely any strategy elements

8.5/10