Just for fun: Write a game review for the poster above you


#23

The Sport of the Mayan Gods

There was a time back in the old days of game making where games didn’t need an elaborate backstory. People took whatever silly premise the developers were giving them and just ran with it. Maya Baseball is a perfect example of this. You play as a Mayan priest who runs a baseball team…who competes against other Mayan priests and their baseball teams. How did the Mayan people come to learn the great American Past-time? Why are they playing it against each other? Who cares! Maya Baseball isn’t a game that takes itself too seriously. This is both a good and a bad thing.

The gimmick for this game are the Mayan gods. Remember that you play as a Mayan priest. As a priest, you can appeal to the gods for blessings and special powers and abilities for your team. Your opponent can do the same. And when I say ‘blessing the team’ I don’t mean something boring like “Make your pitcher throw 5% faster” I mean invoking the will Oluboabi to turn that unfortunate pop-fly your batter just hit into a giant stone Easter island statue that renders it impossible to catch. (Yes I know that Olumboabi isn’t actually a Mayan god, and the Mayans had nothing to do with the Easter Island statues, but again, don’t take it too seriously). Or perhaps you curse a ball so that when your opponent throws it…it slowly orbits around them a few times before flying in its intended direction.

The first playthrough of the game was a blast, and seeing all the blessings and curses hit the field makes the game a light hearted romp. Once you get past the eye candy and the novelty however, is when you start to see some of the weaknesses in this title.

While all of the blessings and curses are indeed very creative and funny to watch…they are also HORRIBLY unbalanced. For example, there is a blessing “Stakkaso’s Punch” that will cause every ball you hit to be a line drive…and anyone who tries to catch it will be sent hurtling back to the back wall by the ball, and be unable to catch it. NONE of the defensive super powers can do a damn thing about it. Even the ones that slow your runners down dont’ slow them down enough to ensure they at least get on 1st. I won an entire season just by spamming that one power.

I call it complacent gaming syndrome…once you know the best strategy and powers…you find yourself using them all the time. And while there are over 100 creative blessings and curses, there are about 3 that are so overpowered that they render the other 97 completely worthless. This is the downside to “Not taking yourself too seriously” since game balance is in the “serious” category.

Since the AI doesn’t know what powers are good or not, and seemingly uses theirs at random… they are a non-threat even at the highest difficulty levels. In fact, putting them on the harder difficulty levels actually makes them easier to beat. This is because the high difficulty levels give them access to extra “Major God” blessings thus making them use those powers more. However, the three game-breaking powers are all the “Minor God” variety, meaning you can spam them every turn… high difficulty AI’s rarely use minor god powers, so you’re less likely to have the overpowered powers turned against you.

Add to this the lack of a season mode or any kind of team customization options…besides their powers… and you have a surprisingly short and shallow game. It is fun for a little while, but this is one you probably won’t pick up again after you finish it.

6.5: Okay

http://imgur.com/3imXDlJ


#24

Do you like space? Do you like conquering space? Well, gamers, here we have a game that combines those two likes in a most beautiful way. You assume the role as the emperor of the Intergalactic Hyperspace Federation, the IHF if you will, and you must bring together your cracked and nearly broken empire. Nobody wants a second War of the Great Void 2, do they? Or do they?

Now, the kicker here is that you aren’t alone in the galaxies. Every great Emperor needs a thread. You have two. In the smaller, recently discovered (well, last 50 years) and hardly explored spiral galaxy commonly known to your explorers as The Spiraling Devil (due to the overabundance of Red Giants), you must defend against a small insurgent, but highly intelligent and aggressive race of humanoids known as the Gar. They do not like you interfering with their planets of control. The second, is internal. Your brother, Ronald, is secretly plotting to overthrow you. You must figure out how to stop him.

At its core, Hyperspace Empire is a real-time strategy, but which set it apart is very unique addition of assuming your flagship, The Big Kahuna, and personally delivering a can of laser whoop-ass to your enemies. Also, another great feature is the moral choices. You can choose to conquer planets in a certain way that can effect(?) your Federation’s love for you and the loyalty of the people of said planet. It’s really all spectacular how it’s implemented.

Lastly, and most unfortunately, the big drawback of the game, are the bug. The bugs in the game drop the score from, let’s say a 9.5, to an 8.5.

Final score: 8.5. Great story, good, if not typical gameplay with a little innovation, looks great, but shipped with unfortunate bug issues.

New user, can’t put image in poist but here is a link to said game. :frowning: http://imgur.com/4rsqmIL


#25

Unique Sports Game Pits Teddy Against Misused Tech

Teddy's T'ai Chi is a unique title. It is incredibly innovative while simultaneously having incredibly deep gameplay. There are over 500 moves you can do (which all look epic), each requiring different key combinations, and the full keyboard is used. In addition, the use of parallax scrolling gives this game the feel of a third dimension. Unfortunately, this is all the good that can be said about this game.

The game turns martial arts into a war between two teams, similar to how a sports game would. This would be awesome, if not for the fact that the horribly written AI of the players was causing massive slowdown (explained later); I was getting 2 frames per second.
I also wish the creator had put more effort into the AI of the enemies YOU fight. While the rest of your team is fighting really tough AI, which slows down the game for you as I mentioned before, you are left with enemies who either are practically unkillable, (even with the slowdown) or super weak, but there is no way to control their difficulty. These two things make the game your worst enemy, not the enemies you fight.

In conclusion, this game has a ton of depth, unfortunately, all of it goes to waste with the poor misuse of technology. I would recommend renting this game if you are interested in sports, action, or T’ai chi, or want to see a unique sports game, but I do not recommend buying it.
5.75/10



#26

http://i.imgur.com/Ypo77dW.png?1 (Click on the link, because I can’t upload photos, because I am a new user)
Watch the RACE OF THE AI’s!

Watch Ai Race is a strange title for a game… But well, lets get to the review. The game is quirky. You get to watch AI Race’s and pretty much nothing else. I think that the community and the people that will buy this game will probarly make some mods. This game isn’t really funny because all you get to do is to watch AI Races. This game is still for everyone so maybe some younger people will enjoy this.
This game has NO story and quests also horribly written dialogues. They took AI to the highest.

This game is not worth buying at all. This might be fun for some YOUNG people, but I don’t really think so.
The only positive thing about this game is that it can entertain young kids at 1-4 years probarly.
The worst game in history, and the developer should never develop games like this again. He will go bankrupt if he countinues to make shitty games like this.

In conclusion, this game is not worth buying and there is not much to say about this game than BIN MATERIAL.

6.75/10
http://imgur.com/Ypo77dW&iT3F7bv#1 (Click on the link, because I can’t upload photos, because I am a new user)


#28

Your name is Cyle Marcus. Yeah, Kyle with a C. That piss-poor decision by your parents still pisses you off. How do you bring home the bacon to your family? You’re a god damn bounty hunter. You take only the toughest case. Murderers, psychos, Bath Salt sons of guns. You’ve seen it all. Until the worst of the worst escapes prison. The most notorious mobster that was ever lived. Johnny Sapasi. He practically ran the state of New York. A dangerous son of a bitch. He’s killed 'em all. Now he’s escaped. Doesn’t matter how, not now. You took him down, he has your family. The games begin. You become the Hunter once again.

Firstly. this is not a game for those with a weak stomach. I, for one, can keep my lunch—albeit, just barely. With the opening video, you see Cyle’s wife viciously murdered whilst our hero is on the phone with Sapasi. You must become the ultimate Hunter and track down your pray through the streets of New York City, and even rural Canada. The ways you can kill a man in this game are spectacular. Stealth kills, all guns blazing, cars, you name it. It’s up to you how you seek revenge. The kicker? Each level is timed. If you fail to do your task in the time allowed, a family member dies.

The drawback of the game? It may be relying a bit too much on the shock factor. While I love snapping mobsters’ necks or harpooning them, it may just be a bit too realistic. And can I say something? The main character’s stupid mullet pisses me off. And with that… the score gets lowered to a 9.75


#31

**

Best Game Of The Year!

**

As a game reviewer , I was shocked by the amount of action in this game. This game is the newest next gen gaming for everyone. Hunter as the name would suggest is a Hunting/Action/Adventure game , your a lone hunter named Will Jackson , in the middle of the year 2073 , the world is a waste because zombies have overrun the entire northern hemisphere. You as a hunter must hunt the mother zombie and kill it with all means.

I started playing it at about 7:00am , I didn’t notice the time as , just as I was about to finish the first 5 sequences , I had already played for an amazing 29 hours. I was shocked as this game made me forget about time itself , and just focus on the gameplay and epicness of the game. The game was quite long , it took me about 2 weeks to finish. As I finished the game , I said to myself " WHAT! ITS OVER?". I was so into the game that , I nearly cried. It is a rare game and I believe that this game will be awarded Best Game of The Year Award (BGTY). I give it an astonishing 9.75.


#33

An old-fashioned war sim for the new generation

It’s been decades since the end of the golden age of war sims. There hasn’t been a successful Military game since Cattlefield 7 from Electronic Mass Productions. Many games have tried since to bring back the genre. But Hobbit X decided to take it in a different style.

First of all, this game is for everyone. Little of the swearing and offensive words from the days of Mbox live. You control the Hobbits (specifically Hobbit Squadron X, who assassinated Emperor Dark One and ended the war), the famous military group from the first galactic war. There is comparatively little action, at least from the player’s perspective. Most of your playtime is spent giving orders to your soldiers, and it’s very realistic - if you fall asleep with the game on, you could easily forget you’re playing a game!

The simulation is so accurate that players looking for tips often check the 2070 United Earth Combat Manuals rather than a strategy guide. Your troops starve, have low morale, get long-term injuries, and just about any other problems you can think of. If it happened in real war, it’s in the game. The controls perfectly utilize Gamedor’s body transfer - you are basically inside the game, giving orders to your soldiers like a real commander. The AI of your soldiers cannot be distinguished from other players.

I have two main complaints with this game. First, despite feeling so real, the game is linear. You are forced to follow the stories path and ultimately kill the emperor - it truly broke immersion for me when I was about to order my soldiers to arrest the surrendering Emperor and an override cut-scene forced me to give a kill command. It was then I realized I was following the historical path, the path the game developers wanted, not what I wanted.

My other complaint is the game massively took realism over function. The truth is, most of us aren’t military commanders, and this gives an insanely steep learning curve to deal with. How am I supposed to know an M-87 Plasma Rifle from a Y-31 Plasma Cannon?! There’s no tool tips, no training level, and no serious help at all. You’ll spend 6 hours learning for every 1 hour spent playing.

Overall, a very well designed military sim, I just wish they’d save some room for a fun game as well.

8.0/10 Great


#34

Don’t let the title fool you

A non-spoiler review by Vinzentice

Don’t get me wrong, I love adventure games ESPECIALLY cyberpunk themed games. When the ShadowMaya trailer came out it literally blew my mind. I was thinking “OMG, this will be on my top 10 games.” But sadly, the game itself isn’t as good.

The dialogues are okay. They’re showing the complexity of the game’s universe but also making it simple enough for average people to understand. Their design on each level are really creative that it makes me jerk my mind a few times. Combine that with their unique gameplay and you’ve got a great game.

The same couldn’t be said for the story. Everything’s too linear and kind of predictable if you have played enough adventure games. And man, don’t get me started on the world design. I mean seriously, I swear they put me in almost the same place every 2 or 3 levels but with different colored buildings.

Overall this isn’t a good game but it isn’t the worst game either. Infact, this would’ve been a great game if it wasn’t for the lack of creative story and world design. In the end, this is a great gateway for new players who have just entered the gaming industry. But watch out veteran players, because you can easily get bored.

Final Score: 5.5

In case windows 8 hates me

Biostruck Infinite

By Epigames
A sequel to Biostruck


#35

Biostruck Infinite
By Epigames
A sequel to Biostruck

A revolution in Action-RPG :

Sometimes, hardly ever, you are not the same person after finishing a game.
Biostruck Infinite is one of them.

I can’t… I am so afraid, not to tell you exactly what i felt during the game, and I don’t want to ruin you the experience.
Just, all right, the gameplay is maybe not really inovative, because it’s pretty the same from Biostruck (If you haven’t played Biostruck, I just have to tell you that infinite is the sequel to it), and the Technology is not the newest, but believe me, you will not play this game for the power of the Engine.
IT’S THE FREACKIN STORY !
In a Cyberpunk world, never saw such a beautifull, inovative, powerfull and attaching story.
I am not saying a WORD about it, Cyberpunk is already too much.
Just know that it is not the type of story we see everywhere, it’s not just a basic story about “Ho no you have to save the world !” or "There is a bad guy ! Ohh he is so evil !"
It’s way BEYOND all this kind of shit.
You will NEVER be the SAME after it, and, god, this is an awesome feeling.

So now :
Don’t listen to anything else !
If somebody talk about this game, Hit him in the face !
Don’t loose another second of your life in front of this stupid text and go try it.

BEST Playsystem 4 game EVER, 10/10

(Maybe not for children)

(Sorry if my english is not really perfect, I’m from switzerland)


#36

First Genius is a super genius!

Having a slow day? Brain farts a common occurrence? Playing this game will make you feel smarter just by being near the game disk! First Genius follows the comedic adventures of Gurk Eddington, the son of a simple rock farmer. Beginning on just another normal day in the year 25,000BCE our hero discovers the magic of fire after being struck by lightning. The player controls Gurk as he navigates from his early beginnings of learning that fire is indeed hot all the way up to the climatic chase as nearby cavemen accuse him of evil magic and attempt to sacrifice Gurk to the angry volcano god. The laughs never stop and the jokes appeal to all ages and genders making this a unique and incredibly fun family experience. Kiss your wife and children good bye and get ready for the adventure of an epoch because you will not be seeing the light of day for the next several months.

9.75/10 - Near perfection but needs more cowbell.



#37

Not only did the Dinosaur extinct…
One of the worst games of all time. The name doesn’t fit, and i could assure that the company didn’t gain any fans from this game! The target audience is not fitting. Simply just charming in extinction! I do know that dragons and dinosaurs probably live at the same time, but the idea is just plain bad. Do not play this, it does not worth your mone- oh god, no, don’t even DOWNLOAD it from the internet, it’s bad, but not horrible. If you dare to buy this game, you must be one of those game collectors. Who thinks that Fantasy and Action is a great combination? I’m not, and the whole world is sure not! This console already has great games like Brash Candicoot, but this… this… No…


#38

WHY DID YOU MAKE THE GAME!?

As a gamer , I was really surprised when my favorite gaming company released a new game. I knew to my heart that it will be a great game , It’s a UFO/Action-Sim game , and just like the last UFO/Action-Sim game , I knew it will be great.

After buying the game , I was really excited , I downloaded it and started playing. After 20 minutes of gameplay , The game ended , just like that. I checked on the forums to see if it was a bug , I was very dissapointed because other people were complaining about it as well. I didn’t believe they would do such a thing , I decided to give a 0 rating but solely because of the typo in the title : Space Invators 2.

9.5 , Because I really love typos!


#39

image
GIZZY BIZZY!

Oh god. Why would they DO such a thing. It’s just bad plain Ninja/Action game. But it’s got some cool “Unique” feeling into it. I like these kind of games. But, oh god. The music is just BAD! Come on, guys, This is good, but not very good. I’m sure you could find enjoyment out of this game and get away with it. :smiley:

I’ll give it a 5.25 out of 10. It’s not bad, but, not too good to say atleast.

Are you ready for this? Seriously?
Okay… * drumroll *
image

TA-DA!

P.S. : My game was a parody on Space Invaders, the sequel after that is Space Inventors.


#40

The Worst Game of All Times

Oh god, this game is about to make history. Move over Big Ships:Over the Sea Racing, cause you’re getting replaced by what could possibly be the worst game in the history of mankind. A rushed attempt to cash in on the popular horror movie of the same name which also sucked has caused this to have bad voice acting, horrible AI, little to no sound effects, and worst of all when you failed a mission. No matter how far are you into the stage, once you fail or die, you’ll have to play from the begining all over again!

Since PSGamers refused to allow a zero, I shall give it a 1/10 for effort.

How this even sold 800k units suprised me.

image


#41

Holy Moly Macarony. Here comes son of the Starring Fox!

Possibly the one of the best games of all time. It’s got awesome Graphics, Sound, and Design. All the things you need for the best games of all time is in there. Do not be fooled by its box art, it is one of the most challenging games i’ve ever played! I played this on easy and it’s still near impossible for me! Possibly because i’m too old to play it?. But the game design is awesome, it’s very technically interesting, and can be your favourite games of all time.

What are you doing? BUY IT RIGHT NOOOOOW!

*Next poster, please post the next game.


#42

I got the game right here.
image

DET stands for De-Effective-Tective


#43

DET 5: An amazing add on to the market!

DET 5 has been released for the PC recently, and nearly 10 million people have been enjoying every last second. The amazing graphics, sound, and level designs are great for the younger recommended audience. It was top of the charts. Another thing I shall praise is the easy LAN setup. Two young detectives trying to figure out who done it!

Great addition to the cluttered market. Made history.
9.75/10



#44

Hot Diggity Darn!

The Duty really did called! Nearly 50 millions people all over the world got the HexBox Cube and BOUGHT THIS GAME AT THE FIRST SECOND! How about the gameplay you ask? It’s… * breathes in * A bit more challenging, a bit more powerful, a bit more nostalgic, a bit more awesome, a bit more terrestrials, a bit more guns, a bit more shooting, a bit more graphics, a bit more music, a bit more accurate, a bit more Call of Boots, a bit more Grand Theft Manual, a bit more box-y, a bit more cube-y, a bit more hex-y, a bit more revolutionary, a bit more slightly awkward, a bit more story, a bit more mechanics, a bit more sound effects, a bit more weird, a bit more more awesome, IT’S THE 72-BIT ERA! I think you get the point. I GIVE IT 9.75 NEVERTHELESS!


Pixelmon! Gotta release them all!


#45

Pixelmon Gold

Pixelmon: Gotta release em all! The catchphrase every kid should know!
Pixelmon is like the pokemon series if P.E.T.A. had created it. Don’t get me wrong, pixelmon is a great game you play either the overly anime boy or girl going on a adventure instilled by Prof. Peace. You go on the memorable journey from Pixelmon Yellow for the Wuu but now with better graphics, more pixelmon, and and a story where you’re in the new region but go back to Manto. Loved this whole experience!
9.5/10 because to much anime.

Overview: +Great journey
+Nostalgia -To much anime


#46

**The last poster didn’t add a game so… here’s something from Mediterranean Entertainment! **