So turns out I wasn't checking to make sure that a certain folder / directory existed before I tried using files in those directories.
So now its all fixed.
If you download the swiftly launcher even though it wouldn't open the updater is the file you download which then downloads the launcher. The updater had no bugs so it should automatically updated the launcher to work from there. Then you can download the UMM from there. OR you can download the UMM from the website.
Notify me if this still doesn't fix anything!