This mod is officially dead, unfortunately. I have no knowledge of Javascript, and I apparently need it to pull this off. Furthermore, I have nobody I can turn to to do programming for me.
If anyone is interested, here is the list I came up with:
Companies
Govodore = Commando
Ninvento = Ninjato
Vena = Sabre
Vonny = Rady
Micronoft = MicroDyne
Grapple = Candy
KickIT = BoxIT
Platforms
PC = PC (Of course.)
Govodore 64 = Commando 64
TES = NED (Ninjato Entertainment Device)
Master V = SM-2000
Gameling = Ninja Boy
Vena Gear = Game Cog
Vena Oasis = Sabre Osiris
Super TES = UNED (Ultra Ninjato Entertainment Device)
“Play System” = "Game Center"
Playsystem = GameCenter
TES 64 = Ninja 64
DreamVast = Dreamsand
Playsystem 2 = GameCenter 2
mBox = X-Cube
Game Sphere = GameBox (will require a graphic artist; the spherical gamecube is just silly)
GS = Ninjato DX
PPS = GCP (GameCenter Portable)
mBox 360 = X-Cube 1080
Nuu = Pii
Playsystem 3 = GameCenter 3
grPhone = iCell
grPad = iSlab
MPad = MicroDyne Panel
Wuu = Pii U
OYA = OVAL (will require a graphics artist)
mBox One = X-Cube Omni
Playsystem 4 = GameCenter 4
mBox Next = X-Cube Final
Playsystem 5 = GameCenter 5
Visorius = Opticus Shift
Potential New Companies
Failed Consoles = VaporWare
Pre-NES = ReTRON
Google = GoGo
Potential New Platforms
Gameboy Color = Ninja Boy Color
Gameboy Advance = Ninja Boy Excell
Sega Saturn = Sabre Set
Sega Nomad = Sabre Horus
Magnavox Odyssey = (ReTRON) Magnabox
Pong = (ReTRON) Ping-Pwn
Android = Cyborg Phones
Modified Events
“Today, Candy, a company well known for their role in the early PC industry and, more recently, for their portable music player, iCandy, have announced that they will soon release a powerful new mobile phone. The phone has touch screen and sports a suprisingly powerful CPU. The integrated graphics chipset should also allow the phone to run games and, since the phone comes with its own application delivery platform, it could become a great device for mobile games. The iCell will be available early next year.” - Year 18, Month 6, Week 1
Unneeded Joke Explanations
A Commodore (as in Commodore 64) is a military rank or something, I forget. A Commando is also military related.
A “To” is a fictional sword resembling a katana, but is completely straight. Invented by 20th century hollywood, in context it was supposedly carried by ninja. Thus, Ninjato.
Also, Sabre is a type of sword which has two syllables like Sega.
“Say-ber” insert parody of blue hedgehog here
Sony’s first product was a pocket-sized Radio. Hence, Rady.
MicroDyne. As in, the company that will doom us all by creating an AI ala The Terminator (CyberDyne).
Eye Candy
"iCell like hotcakes"
I really have no idea why I decided on BoxIT. Maybe you should skip this one if you decide to pick up where I left off.